Real privacy is more than sharing your body. Being truly intimate with someone means having someone you can share your soul with.
It is easy to find a lover. There are a lot of men and women who want nothing more than physical privacy and the feeling of being around someone. They find pleasure in the first contact, the first kiss, the first night together… If you want something casual, finding someone is easy.
However, for me, just being physically intimate with someone is not enough. I want someone with whom I can share more than my body. I want to share my soul.
I want to have a best friend as a lover.
I want to be able to cry my eyes out in front of them and still feel comfortable and beautiful. I want to have someone who will take me back to them in the morning and kiss me immediately after waking up. I want morning kisses and messy hair. I want hugs and breakfast in bed.
I want to go watch football with them, drink beer and laugh so hard our stomachs hurt. I want to look at the sparkle in their eyes and grab them by the hand every time their team scores. I want us to be really comfortable with each other.
I want us to travel together. I want to try exotic and delicious food and watch the sunsets together. I want to get lost in another country with them, wander the streets and hold hands. I want to share all the good and bad times with them, everything.
Other times, I don’t want to leave our couch. I want Netflix and relax with him in my pajamas. I want us to eat snacks all day, no dinner, no lunch. Just some really amazing snacks and TV shows.
I want to see them fall asleep and miss them when they’re not awake.
I want us to sit cross-legged and talk about everything and nothing at the same time.
I want to accidentally burn dinner so that we can go out and eat pizza instead while accidentally getting drunk on some wine. I want us to be seated on the same side of the booth because sitting opposite the table there is too much distance between us.
I want to receive funny texts from him and have a smile all day long.
I want to meet his family and meet him with mine. I want us to have a family on our own. I want to build a future with them.
I want to laugh with him, cry with him, be silly with him, celebrate successes with him and endure whatever life puts in our way together, holding my hand.
I want my lover to be my person, my criminal partner, my best friend.