A breakup is never an easy thing. This is especially true when there are still many lasting feelings that need to be addressed.
But despite the negative nature of any separation, it doesn’t always have to be that bad. You just have to make sure that you do it the right way.
If you’re the one who ended the relationship, it’s completely normal to have feelings for your ex. This is especially true if you have been in a relationship for a very long time.
If you’re just curious about how he’s doing because he still means something to you after the breakup, it’s okay to get in touch just to ask. There doesn’t have to be any evil or other intentions to make contact other than just wanting to know if he’s fine.
But how exactly do you do that? Do you know that there are so many strict rules and boundaries around separation? You don’t want to cross borders, but you can’t help it.
You should know that it is okay to want to know how your ex is after the breakup. But there is no denying that you are walking on thin ice and you have to be careful with every move.
There are very narrow boundaries here that you shouldn’t cross. You should be able to convey some kind of empathy without feeling sorry for him.
You should be able to show him that you are honestly giving something around him without making it seem as if you are still in love with him. You should express your concern for his wellbeing without sniffing or being too curious.
That’s why it’s really important that you look at the overall situation from the perspective of your ex.
You have to be able to put yourself in it and think about what it could feel and how it wants to be addressed by you. The best way to approach him depends on the circumstances of your separation. Remember that context is everything here.
If things between you have ended up in a rather toxic way with a bad argument, it might be better if you keep this space for a while.
It might be best to just wait and be patient after a terrible argument before you get back in touch, even if you want it urgently.
If you two have been together for a very long time and the other one has not accepted the separation well, you shouldn’t insist so much on texting him so soon after the separation.
Maybe you’re the one who broke up and you can’t really deal with it. Then it may not be the best idea to text him right after the breakup. You may want to give yourself a little space to breathe for a while.
Again, it all depends on the context of your situation. There will never be a definitive approach for all couples and separations. It is different in each individual case.
You will simply be able to read the situation and have to react accordingly. There is no one-size-fits-all method to contact an Ex after separation.
Regardless of the circumstances of your breakup, it can be very tempting to just text the ex sometimes to see how he is doing. But you have to make sure that you don’t act carelessly.
When contacting your ex, it is very important that you first reflect on what you are going to do. Be honest with your intentions and try to think about what you’re getting at when you contact him.
And if you don’t know what to write immediately after the breakup, you can use the following texts that may best suit your situation:
1. If you broke up with him and he can’t handle it well.
Hi ______. I hope you feel better today. I’m sorry about how things went yesterday and if you still want to talk I like to listen.
2. When you broke up with him and he seems okay.
Hi ______. Thank you for listening to me yesterday. I want to tell you that I really appreciate how you handled our conversation and I am grateful for what we had together when we were together.
3. If you have separated by mutual consent.
Hey ______. I’m really happy that we talked about yesterday. I think our conversation had to happen and I am grateful that we see it similarly. How do you feel?
4. When you broke up after a terrible argument.
I am really sorry for how I expressed myself yesterday. I think it was a conversation that had to take place, but I think I got it wrong. I hope you’re okay today, and if not, we can talk more about it.
5. When he broke up with you and you have a hard time dealing with it.
Hi ______. Thank you for your honesty yesterday. I’m sorry for how I dealt with it, but I had very strong feelings for you and I wasn’t ready for it to end yet. It was difficult and I hope you can understand that.
6. When he has separated from you and you are doing relatively well.
Hey ______. I’m glad we talked about yesterday. Thank you for being so honest. I wish you all the best in life.