The difference between “wanting someone” and “needing someone”

Someone want to need someone!

The difference between the two words “need” and “want” is gigantic. To need someone is dependency and a habitual kind of dependency. To use someone in times of crisis or extreme sadness is part of the human being, but to constantly need someone is stifling.

Of course, this logic does not apply to children or even teenagers who rely financially and nursing on their family. This comment is more for romantic relationships or even friendships between two functional adults.

Many people confuse the need with love. But they are not synonymous. If you only need someone, you lose the independence and ability to act as a human, because you are constantly dependent on another person.

You lose the ability and desire to master the basic tasks yourself, forget what it’s like to be alone with your thoughts, and barely remember a time when you were able to exist alone.

Sure, that may sound like love, but it is not. I can only speak for myself here, but I definitely do not want a partner that I “need” in my life to survive. Just as I do not want my partner to “need me” all the time. That’s a hell of a lot of pressure for both people, and it’s neither healthy nor fair.

Getting into this need is not a deliberate decision – it often happens quickly and discreetly. Early identification of this need is crucial but often overlooked. Having to “need” someone means buying a first-class ticket to the country of dependency.

Wishing, on the other hand, is the first step in learning how to love someone. You want to be close to each other because it makes you smile, makes you happier and the time passes faster when he’s around.

You do not need it to walk to work with you, fall asleep next to you, or sit in the library while studying for an exam – all you can do yourself.

And, while you are fully capable of doing tasks on your own, you like it when the other person is with you. You do not need it, you just want it to be there.

If you want someone in your life then you want to have him there, because living with him by your side is more fun. You want him because you are a complete man without him, but you know he makes you happy. You do not need to use it as a walker – you can stand alone.

The difference between need and desire is the difference between dependence and love. Love and dependence are very, very different. And loving someone is much more beautiful and satisfying than relying on him for anything, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.


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