The 4 worst parenting styles for children
As parents, we want to raise our children to be the best possible people. And while most of us have the best of intentions, no matter how good the intentions, misapplication can get you nowhere.
When parents discuss the most toxic parenting styles, they often believe deep down that their style is the best.
There are many reasons for this, whether it’s their parents’ parenting style or what they simply think is best – it’s okay to be wrong sometimes, to change course and do better.
If you use any of the following parenting styles, renowned experts agree that you are doing far more harm than good. Here are the worst parenting styles for kids.
1. Authoritarian parenting
Research has found that while authoritarian parents believe their parenting styles produce the best children, that’s simply not the case.
Punishing your child harshly, making extremely high demands on them, and being cold and callous towards them is likely to make them disrespectful and also make them far more likely to end up as delinquents later.
When children see their parents as legitimate authority figures, they trust them and feel obligated to do what their parents tell them to do.
This is an important trait for any authority figure, as the parent does not have to rely on a system of rewards and punishments to control their behavior, and the child is more likely to follow the rules when the parent is not physically present.
There’s also a good thing about it: this type of parenting is strict but fair. These parents monitor and set clear norms for their children’s behavior.
They want their children to be both assertive and socially responsible, and to be self-regulating and cooperative.”
Like authoritarian parents, these parents set boundaries and expect their children to follow them.
However, these parents know that the boundaries must be age-appropriate. They listen to their children’s questions and give them feedback and support.
The children know that they can negotiate or come up with new ideas that their parents will also hear.
2. Impartial Parenting
Disinterested parenting is a parenting style characterized by low responsiveness and low demands.
Often the uninvolved parent is neglectful and unresponsive to their child’s emotional needs.
Also, they don’t teach their kids boundaries, which is sure to be a recipe for disaster.
What is referred to as uninvolved or neglectful parenting is a parenting style that is often beyond the control of parents.
For example, if you’re a single parent and work two jobs to make ends meet, adversity may dictate a harsh reality — namely, that you’re more distant from your children.
Uninvolved parents may not go to their children’s soccer games. They may not have met their child’s teacher or attended their child’s school.
It’s possible they don’t know their child’s favorite color, favorite food, or best friend. These children often feel unloved, unappreciated, and unseen.
There are no proven benefits of this parenting style, although children are resilient and can become more self-reliant out of necessity
Overall, the children of uninvolved/neglecting parents have some of the worst results compared to children with other parenting styles.
3. Permissive parenting
You know those parents who treat their child like a friend and not their child, the parents who allow their child to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t harm anyone (and in some cases even goes so far as to let them allow their children to harm others)?
That’s a permissive parent. Unfortunately, a 2016 study found that permissive parents create more stressed children, as well as making the children unhealthy and more likely to be victims of abuse.
Permissive parents are more accommodating than demanding. They are unconventional and forgiving, do not demand mature behavior, allow a high degree of self-regulation, and avoid confrontation.
So these parents have low expectations of their children’s behavior and often make excuses for them: “kids are kids after all”.
Parents only step in when there’s a serious problem, and as we know, putting out a fire is a lot harder than dealing with a spark.
As these parents try to avoid difficult moments (confrontations about boundaries and rules, sadness, anger, disappointment, frustration, etc.), they will often do whatever it takes to keep their children happy and protect them from anything too upsetting or might be difficult.
This means that children raised with this parenting style are less able to recover from setbacks, deal with troubled emotions, and develop resilience, perseverance, or problem-solving skills.
4. Helicopter Education
Simply put, helicopter parents are control freaks. They control and orchestrate every aspect of their children’s lives, never giving them the opportunity to make their own decisions and constantly intervening and making decisions for them.
Children raised with this parenting style have a harder time making decisions and are statistically more likely to take risks and drink heavily.
Above all, the researchers recommend authoritative parenting. And why? Because they create a loving and supportive atmosphere for their child while making sure they are disciplined.
Children raised in this way have better mental health, are generally healthier, and are less likely to engage in violence or unhealthy behavior later in life.
Do you know someone who controls every aspect of their children’s lives, from the friends they have to the food they eat to what they do in their free time?
Then you know a concerned, conscientious parent. But society could also refer to them as helicopter parents.
– trying to control many situations (for love, may we add)
– don’t trust their child’s – well, any child’s – ability to deal with situations as skillfully as an adult (maybe that’s a good thing)
– give their children constant advice
– intervene to solve their children’s problems
Remember, these parents act out of love and concern. They desperately want what is best for their children and do not want their precious child’s mistakes to affect their future.