How to tell someone you need space to yourself
Many people occasionally need a little space for themselves in their relationships to reflect on their feelings and deepest thoughts. This does not mean that they no longer love their partner or that they are bored.
Everyone needs a balance between partner time and alone time. And sometimes, without the right balance, you can feel like you have no air to breathe.
Between commitments and family life, you may feel like you have no place for yourself.
It’s really okay to want some time to yourself and to seek some space in a relationship. In this way you can improve the relationship with your partner and the communication in the relationship.
Don’t make excuses
Don’t make excuses for hesitating to talk about your need for space. Don’t shove it under the rug either, that will only make it more complicated.
If you start avoiding your partner and making excuses not to see them often, know that this is not a wise solution.
This will make your partner paranoid and they will think that you are avoiding them because you don’t love them anymore. This gives him a completely wrong picture of the whole situation.
Avoiding problems and making excuses will only create bigger problems.
You need to understand that talking about space with your partner is necessary and that you need to do it as soon as possible.
The character of the partner is very important. You must conduct these types of conversations carefully as it is a very sensitive subject.
It is very likely that your partner misunderstands this. Watch how you tell him that. There is no well-defined formula that you can use to easily and successfully say that you need space for yourself.
The announcement must be tailored to your partner’s character. If his character is a reasonable and calm person, you can tell him that openly. Explain to him how you are feeling and why you really need the space for yourself.
Say you only want the best for your relationship.
If your partner is a sensitive and spirited person, choose your words carefully. He will probably understand that you want a breakup and that he is to blame for everything.
Choose a quiet place, away from public view, and explain everything to him in a calm tone. It would be good to talk about it again afterwards and that way your partner will take the whole thing much better.
Your partner will immediately notice that the conversation isn’t going anywhere. During the conversation, don’t let your partner get the impression that you’re better than them.
He can get that impression if you explain to him the reasons why you need more space for yourself in a relationship. Choose your words carefully and watch your tone.
Say everything without judgment. You are both different people with different needs and your partner needs to understand that. If you manage to convey that to him, then you have done a very good job.
When it’s all over, communication in your relationship will improve significantly.
First clarify what bothers you about the relationship. You need to establish this clearly before you start the conversation.
Are you spending too much time together? Do your partner expect to reply to their texts right away? You can feel stifled in general, but if there are more reasons, you need to bring them all up in the conversation.
Discuss specific behaviors, not a general problem, as this is counterproductive.
Be aware of your needs
At first you may not know how much space you need or for how long. Take as much time as you need. Always think of your partner and don’t let them down.
Communicate with him so you both stay on the same page. If you only need a few days, tell your partner. In this case, he will endure the whole situation much easier.
On the other hand, if you think it could take weeks or more, then you need to be realistic about that decision and keep up with it.
Your partner may see this as if you’re trying to leave them. So if you’re honest about why it’s important to you, you can ease your partner’s worries.
Give your partner something to look forward to
In most cases, you take the space to work on yourself. This means that you want to become a better person and therefore want to be better in a relationship.
It’s not just about personal interests, you want the best for both of you in the relationship. Don’t leave your partner with a bad taste.
Again, it is very important that you explain this clearly to your partner.
Give your partner something to look forward to. I want him to know how much better, more intimate, and more exciting your relationship will be after the break.
This may give your partner time to pursue the hobbies he or she gave up when you got together. And your partner will have time to work on themselves and get better.
If the break has already started, you don’t have to completely distance yourself from each other. Occasionally throw a bone at your partner.
Send him a goodnight text when you haven’t spoken to each other all day. Surprise him with a visit, you can also have a coffee or go for a walk in the park.
Your partner will be very happy. Remember that he sacrifices himself for you.
Sometimes the least you can do is return the favor to let them know that their efforts have been recognized and appreciated.
On such occasions you will learn how effective the break is and how much space you still need. Of course, there is no clear rule as to how long such a break should last.
When you feel like you’re feeling better and ready to rekindle your relationship, you know it’s time to break the hiatus.
Knowing that it’s not all or nothing
You’re not limited to one “I need space for myself” conversation per relationship. You don’t have to think of this as the only time you’ll ever have time for yourself.
Instead, space can become an integral part of your relationship. You can still take one night a week or one weekend a month to yourself without feeling bad about it.
The good thing is that once you set the precedent that individual time can be a good thing for your relationship, both you and your partner will be open to the idea.