You will regret losing the woman who waited for you to get your life right.
In fact, you already knew that this would not be easy. But you didn’t think that it was actually that difficult. He’s right in front of you and you know it will be the last time. A certain sadness arises in you. It’s kind of different from normal sadness. You have never experienced this feeling before.
A void arises in you and you feel like someone has sucked all your energy out of you. The thought that this person who is standing in front of you will soon be a stranger to you makes you feel down. You are so familiar and soon you will be treating each other like passers-by on the street.
You also know that this emptiness will be in you for a long time to come. Because this goodbye will change something in you. So here you stand with him and you can feel how all the memories you two share come up in you and are played like a movie at breakneck speed. You think of all the love and all the beautiful moments that you had with each other.
You get goosebumps now.
You don’t want this moment to pass. You want time to stand still and you want nothing to change. He should just be him and you should just be you. Why can’t the world just stand still? Why can’t you just stay connected and share a world?
You are now thinking about how you wish that everything was fine. You want to take his hand and you want to tell him everything is fine. You wish the two of you could get through one more time. You want to hide the truth from him and just move on without anything falling apart. But then you notice how you are fooling yourself.
The tears run down your cheeks.
This makes you realize that this is all really happening right now. It is not a dream but a reality. You struggle not to collapse completely and try to breathe calmly. But you can’t calm down and more and more tears are rolling out of your eyes. Because you know that this will be a great loss for you today.
You don’t want to leave even though you always wanted to hide your tears. You cannot take your hand off his shoulder. You want to hug him again and you don’t know if you can ever let go of him again. But you have to! Inside you know that you can’t stay You know this is best for both of you.
You look at him and you want to save a picture of him in your mind. You want to memorize his voice again exactly so that you can always carry it in your mind. The hug is getting tighter now. And you want to remember what it feels like to hug him. The warmth of his body makes you toy with the idea of lingering at this moment forever.
Now you’re looking into his eyes.
And you hope he will never forget you. You want this world that you created together to stay in his mind forever. You have to summon up all your courage to let go of his body and withdraw. You are trying to find the right words and express your feelings. But nothing could describe your breaking heart right now. You just can’t think of words that could even come close to reflecting what’s going on inside you.
He was so special to you and that’s why it’s especially painful to lose him. Now you look at him one last time and wipe the tears from your face.
You turn away from him.
And you take all your courage again and turn away from him. You are now sitting in your car and asking yourself a thousand questions. Was that the right decision? You wonder what you could have changed. You wonder if you could have said something after all. Then maybe he would have stayed.
Maybe it could have been a love story after all. But then you remember that you already knew it wouldn’t have changed anything. This was your fate from the beginning. So now you remember that this pain will pass. The love between you just wasn’t enough in the end. You are now aware of that. You were just not made for each other and that’s why there is no happy ending now.
You know you will feel better in the end. You feel safe and even if it hurts a little to let him go, you know you are doing the right thing. It was still a gift for you to love him.
And no matter what comes next, you will forever be grateful for this love.