Now that everything is said and done, we both can say that this should never have happened here. That you never really loved me, just the idea of having someone by your side. You did not want to be alone, but have someone to take care of you. You loved the way I loved you, not me.
You never really loved my body, just the movements I made for you. You loved it, that you all envy, that you have me by your side. You loved how you had everything you wanted from a woman, how you got everything, but gave nothing back.
I loved you more than myself. I was there for you after working double shifts at the hospital, but where were you when I needed you? Where have you been when my first patient died? Where were you when I first saved a life? Always busy, always had an excuse ready. “Baby, you know that’s important to me. Please be understanding. “But I should also be important to you, and I never was.
You never loved me, just the idea of having someone by your side. It only mattered to me that I was your lifeline. I loved you so much that I wanted to change you for the better. But you managed to break me so much that I had to fix myself.
You loved to have someone to let go of your anger to complain about your insecurities and to expect me to cheer up your ego. And I was ready to help you, I was ready to choose you as a priority, but not once have you done the same for me. At no time was I neither the first nor the second choice. It was just about you, always about you.
You never loved my mind, just the way it admired you. You never realized how great I was. Not once did you bother to ask me how my day went by. Not once have you cared that I’m tired, that I’m exhausted.
You needed me to be there for you, and you expected me to come to you as soon as you called me. Did you even notice that I’m more than just a figure? Did you even realize how much you hurt me?
Have you even noticed how lonely I felt next to you? How betrayed did I feel when you talked about other women?
You never loved anyone except yourself. When I first refused to be there for you after six years, you immediately turned to someone else. When you took all the love, all the strength, all the emotions, you just went over to the next victim. When I was broken, you were the one who broke me even more and just rolled me over. Walked over the empty shell that was left of me and did not even look back. Well, until now.
You never loved me, you just loved the way I loved you.
You loved how much I was ready to help you, how much I was willing to put my dreams aside to make yours come true. You loved how strong and independent I was because that meant you did not have to be. But I needed you to be the man. I needed you to be there for me to hold me when I collapsed.
Instead, you were the blowing wind that has scattered parts of me all over the universe. You were the hammer that shattered my walls, my soul. And not once have you been sorry.
And now you are here again. Since this woman has left you, you try to get back together with me. You’re trying to get under my skin, now that she’s done the same thing you’ve done to me. She left you for another man because you were not man enough for her.
And now you expect me to forget that you have thrown away the six years of my love, six years in which I have tried hard, six years in which I have given parts of myself to complete you? And you expect me to believe that you have always loved me? Did you love me while cheating on me? Did you love me when you ran away with her? Did you love me when you showed her before my eyes? You’re just addicted to being loved and guess what, honey?
You have to earn the love as well as the time and dedication of someone. And you do not deserve mine anymore.