He will only send you a message if no one else replies to his messages. If other people are available, your first choice is to hang out with them. That’s why you always stare at your cell phone and watch him drinking beer on his story and wrapping his arm around other girls in his Instagram pictures.
He doesn’t want to be your friend. He can’t even be called your almost-boyfriend. He’s just some guy who uses you.
He might throw you a few crumbs of bread every now and then to make sure you stay interested, but he will never really bother you. He will only travel half the way. He will only do the minimal effort. He will never choose to tie himself up. It will send more and more mixed signals over time.
You asked yourself why it takes him so long to answer your messages. Why he sometimes sends you a message first and then disappears after the answer. Why he pretends to be crazy about you one day and disappears the next day as if you mean nothing to him.
The answer is simple. He only wants you when you are the only option.
He doesn’t want to do anything with you if he has something better to do with his time. If his friends are free, he will cancel the plans with you to hang out with them. If another woman replies to his texts, he will choose to ignore yours so that he can focus on her instead.
He treats you like the second choice and you allow it because you have strong feelings for him.
Every time you forgive him for not contacting you for days or if he only lets you read your messages, you encourage his behaviour. You let him know that it is okay if he ignores you, because you will still be there when he decides to come back.
If things are to change, you have to “step on the gas a little.” You have to make it clear that you are not ready to play his games. He will either start treating you as his priority or he will no longer stay in touch with you.
If you raise your standards, you will likely lose it. And since he only sees you as a replacement plan anyway, he won’t miss you very much. It will be easier for him to put you in his past than to build a relationship with you.
That is fine too. It is better to stay single and persevere for someone who really sees your worth than to be content with someone who cannot even say how happy they are to have your attention.
Don’t let anyone treat you like a backup plan, even if you’re absolutely on this, because these people don’t deserve your love. They don’t earn anything from you unless they can return as much in return.