We always hear of red flags, warning signs that signal that a relationship is unhealthy. The problem with red flags is similar to the problem with the red traffic light: if we only see the red light after we have passed it, it does not offer too much protection.
Is there a way to avoid this? Are there previous, subtle warning signs that could save us the pain of an overblown alarm bell?
There are signs that something may be rotten, but is also simply a temporary, unfavourable condition. A yellow flag is a warning – the first inkling that something is wrong, but it does not necessarily mean that you have to take your legs in your hand and go far.
You need to look at the big picture to find out if these are real cause for concern, but they should be looked at.
What are some of these early, understated warning signs?
1. The past
Was the person married before? This is a yellow flag to look out for. It’s not a complete deal-breaker, but how you figured it out is important.
Did he / she tell you or did you find out on social media? And above all, what was the marriage like and why did it break up? how do they relate to each other today? Does he say disgusting things about his ex? These are all important questions, the answers of which could be revealing for your relationship.
Another yellow flag when it comes to his past is when he or she has never been in a relationship. Again, it doesn’t have to mean anything bad, but that’s probably something you should do a little research before committing yourself.
2. Everything is going too fast
This can be seen in many ways. I remember a man who gave me an expensive perfume on our second date. If you ignore the fact that he obviously wanted women to wear his favourite perfume (a huge red flag) and just focus on giving, it’s still inappropriate to start dating.
Another sign that things are moving too fast? To give a nickname ahead of time, including sweetheart, babe, darling, sweetheart, etc. If someone gives you a nickname after the first dates or calls you his girlfriend, he tries to call you ahead of time.
While it may seem flattering, cute, or even humorous, it’s rather weird and you should let him know.
While we don’t want anyone who is so rigid in their opinions and decisions that they are inflexible or unable to adapt to changes in a healthy way, indecision also creates fear and tension.
An adult and mature person must be able to make their own decisions. Someone who doesn’t know what he wants, never wants to make the wrong decision, or wants to let you do all the decision-making, won’t make a very strong partner.
Indecisiveness has a time and place to shape who we are, but a successful partnership is based on two people who already know who they are or who are willing to make decisions and accept the risks involved.
So if your partner’s answer to everything is, “I don’t know where to go, or maybe we can see each other sometimes,” that’s a subtle signal that he’s not ready for a relationship.
4. Difficulty in eye contact and constant fidgeting
Unless you are a dragonfly or have the metabolism of a hummingbird, the constant fidgeting signals a certain level of discomfort. Assuming that he does not have a disease that causes this, someone who does so does not feel comfortable in his own skin, situation or context, or let’s face it, he is not focusing on the date.
Nobody feels comfortable when someone is staring at him, but making eye contact is different from staring. Avoiding eye contact is a universal signal to hold something back, usually information or attention.
If your date keeps looking somewhere else, so will you because you want to see what they see. This will make you confused, insecure, and slightly anxious. Yellow flag!
Has he always been unemployed? Does he never manage to keep a job? Does he look less ambitious and prefers to rely on family money?
Sometimes it can be very difficult to find a job, especially if you are looking for something that fulfills you. But someone who obviously never wants to show responsibility is rarely suitable for a relationship. You should think about it!
Yellow flags may look a little different for everyone, but these are just a handful of examples that could really make you wonder what is going on between you and your partner.
There are more yellow flags, such as B. constant comparison with others (a sign of uncertainty or contempt) and a lack of curiosity that shows little interest in learning.
Maybe you don’t know anything about your partner’s family, they always forget when you have made plans and never remember what you said. All of this is worrying and should be considered. However, the above are my top 5.
We get into trouble too often because we tend to ignore these early warning signs that register somewhere in the pit of the stomach, but we shake them off.
Maybe we do it because we really want to make the relationship work, or because we are led to believe that we are too picky and nobody is “perfect”, or because we are not sure if we are able to see when something is a problem and when it is a quirk.
We use our senses to constantly collect and process information. You may think that your ability to sense certain things is limited, and sometimes it is.
It takes practice to feel yellow flags. The more tuned you become, the easier it will be to spot these and other subtle signs early before yellow turns to red.
These are just examples of a few things that are annoying – if your relationship has more yellow flags, it may be time to take a step back or have an honest conversation and make a decision that is ultimately best for you ,