If you’re twenty or thirty and single, I bet you can’t swear you’ve never wondered, “Will I ever find love?”
It is very natural for you to worry about this. After all, you are a human being and you have a need to love and be loved.
You have had your own share of breakups and lovesickness.
All of your past relationships have failed and now you can’t help but ask yourself, “Will I ever find love again, or will I be alone forever?”
1. You are never too old and it is never too late
Who told you that love has an age limit? Believe me, this is nothing more than a myth that we’re about to get rid of.
I don’t know how and when that happened, but it seems that after a period of time people give up on finding love.
It’s like romance is only reserved for the twenties. Once you’re in your thirties, everyone pretends to be trying to grab your last chance at love.
It’s like ceasing to exist at a certain age. As if your feelings suddenly disappear as you go into the fourth or fifth decade of your life.
Well, guess what: this is not the case. In fact, there are countless examples of people who have found the love of their lives in retirement homes.
So please don’t let society limit you with this nonsense. There is absolutely no reason for you to panic that you will not find your partner for life just because you have reached a certain age.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve waited to get back out – you might as well meet your wife or husband tomorrow.
There is no guarantee that relationships starting in your twenties or thirties will be more successful. Instead, it’s the other way around.
2. Someday everything will have perfect meaning
When you feel like you are in a bit of a crisis, it is only natural that you think that everything you’ve been through so far is completely pointless.
Why did you have to go through all these broken hearts? Why did you hurt all of your exes in the most terrible way even though you never did anything to them?
Why did you have to fall madly in love with this guy or girl when the two of you weren’t meant to end up together?
Did you do anything to deserve this miserable happiness? How is it that all of the people around you had it better than you?
So many questions and no answers in sight. It’s not that you are jealous, but you look at your friends and you are a real angel compared to them.
You are one of the few people you know who has always been loyal to their partners and you’ve never broken anyone’s heart.
But if you compare yourself to them, you are unlucky. You’re the only one who hasn’t found love.
So where is the justice in all of this? What was the point of all the hell you’ve been through when you obviously aren’t getting your happy ending?
3. Being single is a chance to live your life on your own terms
I know you are here to get the answer to the question, “Will I ever find love?” And you expect me to tell you when it will happen, and probably even how to speed up the process.
Yes, you will most likely find your happy ending. You will find your perfect partner who will make your life even better.
But what if that doesn’t happen? Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you will die alone.
But the fact is, no relationship expert can tell you what is waiting for you.
Your fate is in the stars, and there is no way I can predict what will happen next.
Let’s think about the possibility of staying single. I’m not talking about being single forever – I’m talking about being single for a while.
Is that the worst that could happen to you? I know your answer will be positive, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
But, hey, trust me: you can’t be more wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.
It doesn’t mean you have to be lonely and desperate. Nor does it mean that your life is losing its meaning.
Yes, finding the right man or woman can make you happier.
But haven’t we already found that you are the key to your own happiness?
Look at things that way. Instead of complaining about your bad luck, why not start seeing your single status as an opportunity to live your life on your own terms?
I want to be completely honest here. No matter how compatible you are with your partner, you will always have to make some sacrifices for the benefit of your relationship.
From this moment on, you can no longer make important decisions on your own.
It’s not that you can wake up one morning and decide to move to another city or quit your job and start over.
You can’t even change homes or choose your next vacation spot if the other person doesn’t agree.
The truth is, you have to meet halfway through almost anything.
What I am telling you is that your single life is the last chance you have to make your own decisions without thinking about how they will affect another person.
Appreciate this before you start missing it.
4. Your happiness starts with you
The trick to people desperately looking for love is that, in most cases, they expect it to change … for it to turn their world upside down in the blink of an eye. I am sure you know exactly what I am talking about.
At least you’ve seen it in the movies. Or maybe you are a hopeless romantic yourself with the same ideas.
You think that every single problem you have goes away the moment you meet your partner.
It doesn’t matter if you are struggling with mental health, finances or any other problem – this person will be your savior and put an end to all of your sufferings.
See, love is very powerful, but let’s be realistic for a second: this person isn’t walking around with a wand made just for you.
It will make all of your problems much more manageable, but it won’t just chase them away.
They will make the sleepless nights a lot less lonely, but they won’t bring the sunshine out of nowhere.
I hate to tell you this, but that is your and your only job. As you can see, your happiness begins with you.
The thing is, if you’re not happy as a single, you’re unlucky, but you won’t be happy in a relationship either.
The steering wheel is only in your hands. You take responsibility whether you want it or not.
The point is, instead of expecting someone else to do it for you, you need to take control of things in your life. Otherwise you will always be disappointed.
5. Romance is not all there is
When you ask yourself, “Will I ever find love?”, All you can think of is romance. It is as if there is only romantic love for you.
Well, guess what – it isn’t. In fact, there are numerous other types of love besides romantic love.
First of all, there is your family. I don’t know if you are close to them or not, but at the end of the day I am sure that they will love you very much. And I bet you love her too.
Then there is the family you choose – your friends. Just look around and I am sure you will notice a bunch of people ready to move mountains for you.
I am sure that you will see that there are many more of those who you really love.
I’m sure you’ll notice at least a few people who have your back no matter what.
Loyal people who are there for you even in the middle of the night. People you can count on and people who make your life better.
In fact, it doesn’t have to be the majority. It will be more than enough just to have one person in the world who fits this description – it will be more than enough to have one person to call yours.
Also, you don’t get love only from those around you.
Love is the neighbor next door who brings you Christmas cookies. It’s the little kid who smiled at you in the street for no reason whatsoever. It is the stranger who helped you with your shopping bags.
Love is all around you – you just have to look carefully.
6. Maybe you are looking for the wrong kind of love
Before you can get the answer to the question, “Will I ever find love?”, The first thing you need to know is what kind of love you are looking for.
Could it be that you idealize the concept of love and soul mate?
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying the perfect person for you doesn’t exist out there. I assure you that your other half is waiting for you.
I do not advise you to settle for anything less than that. I’m not telling you to lower your demands just so as not to be alone.
I just ask you to distinguish between real life and fairy tales. Your love story doesn’t have to be like it was in the movies or old novels.
7. Your greatest responsibility is to love yourself
So, I’ve been talking about all of the other types of love you get without seeing them.
But I have not yet spoken to you about the most important love there is: the love you give yourself.
You see, a lot of people who don’t get romantic love automatically assume they’re not adorable.
Of all the men or women in the world, none have found you worthy to receive their unconditional love.
So it has to be true: there is nothing to love about you, and as a result, you stop loving yourself.
You start to wonder why am I not enough. What’s wrong with me
Am i not attractive enough? Smart or Interesting Enough? Why should I love myself when no one else does?
Well that is your biggest mistake. You see, people are often guided by role models.
So, if you meet a guy or girl and show them a lack of self-love and self-care, they will follow you.
You won’t have to put in much effort to convince them that there is nothing about you to love – they will instantly believe you.
If you show someone that you don’t respect yourself, neither will they.
If you show them that you don’t consider yourself worthy, they won’t see your worth either. As simple as that.
Yes, loving others is great. It helps you become your best self and it enriches your soul and spirit.
But your greatest responsibility is to love yourself before anyone else.
8. You deserve the kind of love you would give to someone else
For as long as you can remember, you have always been the one who loves more.
It was like this in all of your relationships: you were the one bearing most of the burden.
It’s not that you asked for each other’s attention and affection.
But the bitter truth is that most of your relationships wouldn’t have gotten this far if you hadn’t pushed them so hard.
So it is very natural that you end up feeling used and taken advantage of. Not only that, you are also drained and worn out from all the work.
You feel that there is no more energy in you. You have put too much effort into relationships that were doomed to fail.
But the worst part is you barely got anything back. You feel like it was all in vain and you have no intention of repeating the same mistakes again.
The last thing you want is another relationship where you’re the one who gives more – a relationship where you’re the one who moves things forward without the other person moving an inch.
You can’t get rid of the feeling that you have been alone in most of your relationships. Instead of fighting side by side with your partner, you had to fight him most of the time.
Well, I promise you that will change. You will never be in a similar situation again.
And do you know why? Because the universe saw it all. It saw your tears and your efforts.
The universe has seen how capable you are of loving. And you will never again meet someone who doesn’t have the same skills as you.
Instead, the next time you meet someone special, you will return the love they get from you because you deserve all the love you give to everyone else.
Once you understand this, you will never settle for less. You will never be satisfied with someone who does not have the ability to do good.