Why you should only have one plus friendship and give it up
When it comes to a friendship plus with someone, I’m sure everyone can agree that it’s never just about love.
After all, time spent with anyone, and especially in an intimate relationship, cannot be so lacking in emotion.
Since intimacy and chemistry lead to definite pleasure, it can certainly get very emotional afterwards.
Also, considering this type of relationship, we can all agree that it is never lacking in excitement.
However, she’s never overly emotional either, as we take off our masks for each other.
As we show them our darkest desires and tell them somewhere at 3am all the things we fear and worry about.
Why? Because they are our imagination, what makes us feel good after a hard day’s work and our refuge;
Everything we can’t have but want because they only come alive to us at night.
While during the day they walk past us like a stranger or just give us a gentle look.
This is also the point where we stop and realize that we want a little bit more with that person.
Something more innocent, and in daylight, and we break down.
Since we’re not with them the way we really want to be and start to wonder why.
Why don’t they want a relationship with us? and what is it that we lack?
Also how that can change and how we can get them to love us…
However, you have to stop thinking that way to understand why someone only looks at you that way.
Because it certainly has little or nothing to do with you, but with the way you think about yourself.
Why you lie to yourself in the friendship plus agreement
Before we explain this statement, we should clarify a few things.
A woman in a friendship-plus relationship is not in one because she has no qualities or because she is unlovable.
Because these types of relationships are usually practiced by overly ambitious people, attractive people, and those with expensive and lavish tastes and lifestyles.
Because actually women who are more frugal, traditional and simple are all in relationships now, right?
This also applies to men who are more family-oriented, because they usually prefer a permanent relationship.
This is also where we start with this problematic type of relationship, because not all people have the same bonding skills.
Therefore, people who are in friendship-plus relationships are more likely to have unhealthy attachment patterns;
They are afraid of commitment and hope that over time they will be able to make more of their casual friendship.
After all, they are not intimate with this person because they crave love, but because they are emotionally attracted to them.
1. They don’t want to be your partner because they’re living in the past
Typically, people who get lost in casual relationships and are on the warpath when it comes to love are simply hurt.
Because both men and women don’t particularly enjoy this kind of promiscuity, especially in later years.
But what really hurt her so much, you might ask? well, that one ex-partner of theirs.
Although it’s not that this ex was anything special or extraordinary, it’s that at the time they were dating him they believed they could have something more serious.
That they would form a stable emotional relationship and that they are not as flawed as they thought they were.
But now that their egos are in pieces, they don’t even love themselves, let alone another human being.
2. They don’t want to be your partner because they can’t offer you stability
Even if you have a very strong connection with your friendship-plus partner, they are often aware that they actually have nothing serious to offer you.
Mainly because they have some kind of issue preventing them from doing so or they are in a situation where they just aren’t able to commit.
These can either be mental issues, financial issues, or even attachment issues, and you know this because they never really bond with anyone, including you.
Instead, they prefer to spend their time alone and don’t feel the urge to enter into a serious relationship.
That’s why they don’t even consider giving you a taste of a serious relationship because they know they can’t keep such a promise.
3. They don’t want to be your partner because they don’t date everyone
Also, not to be confused by this statement, it doesn’t really refer to high standards but to a person’s character.
Some people are more social than others, enjoying meeting new people and wondering if they could form more meaningful bonds with them as well.
Others don’t have that kind of natural curiosity and wait until a specific person comes along with whom they can start a romantic relationship.
So they have no interest in wasting their time with someone they know they don’t want to date and the most they can offer is a experience.
And only if they are attracted to that person and there is good chemistry between them;
So all the other things couples do are reserved only for those they really want to be in a relationship with, and nothing you do can change their minds.
4. They recognize what you’re made of, but they’re looking for something specific
One of the best love advice anyone can give you is to not look at things too lightly, because you may be surprised to find that other people’s preferences are more unusual than you think.
For example, the absolutely gorgeous man that you have been in love with for years and that every woman wants could be gay.
Or the man you think only dates perfect women thinks you are out of reach for him.
Therefore, you should never think that you are less than someone else or that someone is perfect.
Because in reality that is not the case and we are all imperfect and lost in life.
It’s just that there is one person out there who sees all of your beauty beyond your flaws, so your idea of perfection will never match the one person who isn’t meant for you.
5. They don’t know you well enough to commit to you
When I think back, it wasn’t the men who saw me in perfect clothes and makeup who fell in love with me, but the ones who saw the real me at different stages of life.
The ones who started out as friends and would take me out whenever I asked them out for coffee.
Who took the time to listen to my problems and even protected me when I was hurt by other men.
Because they actually took the time to get to know me, to laugh and cry with me, without any expectations;
And because they only ever enjoyed my company and I theirs, while feelings developed over time.
But unfortunately I never gave them a chance to love me because I always wasted my love on those who went days without talking to me and without seeing my face.
What to do if you develop plus feelings in a friendship
When it comes to developing feelings in friendship plus relationship, you should keep one thing in mind.
While the person you are in this type of relationship with has shown you their true colors, and you may share amazingly passionate and indulgent moments with them, they have not shown you what they are like in other areas of life.
The way she would be willing to help you when you have a problem, to come to you to cheer you up when you are sad and to cook you a meal when you are sick.
When you think about it… do they even reach out to you when you’re sick, hurt, or lonely?
Do they even know when your birthday is or that you love the color yellow because it makes you smile? They really don’t care, and they wouldn’t bother with such things.
To them, you are just an object of their imagination and not someone they want to be in a relationship with.
So it’s possible that you might develop feelings for these types of people, but ask yourself if they’re reasonable and worth the pain.
Instead, the person you love holds you tightly by the hand as they proudly walk with you in the sun of the day, rejoicing a little bit more at being alive just because they can be with you.
That is why you need to come out of the darkness of a friendship plus relationship because where there is love there is light and you deserve to be loved.