Life has to be flawless. Everything should be in place. If life is not perfect, it is not good enough.
Hoping to live a dignified life, we often go beyond our own thoughts.
“I’m staying single until …”, “Why hurry up?” “I should stay single until I find someone with such and good qualities.” “It’s okay to wait for the best.”
We often limit ourselves to a series of life experiences, hoping to boycott big losses and failures. But since each coin has two faces, these restrictive ideas mean that we are only a short distance from the possibilities.
When it comes to relationships, we are particularly careful so that our hearts are not broken and we do not invest emotions, energy and time in the wrong person. Because who doesn’t know the consequences of heartache?
Some people (including you) may think that waiting for the right person to come in your life saves a lot of unnecessary emotional involvement. While such thoughts are admirable, a look at the contrasting side should also be taken.
Illusion of perfection
“The perfect person is worth the wait” – the lie we kept telling ourselves. The perfect person is not worth the wait because there is NO “perfect” person.
We typically have two concepts in our head – a perfect person and a perfect relationship. Both are absent.
Each of us has a few ideas in mind which criteria our future partner must meet in order to be a suitable soul mate. We look forward to meeting this person who will meet all of the criteria. In other words, the person we think is perfect.
“He has to be honest, caring, responsible, understanding, rich, hardworking, funny and without uncertainties, attachment problems and bad habits.” “He has to be beautiful, down to earth, smart, intellectual, confident, loving and accepting.”
Well, the fact is that nobody is perfect. You know that too. But when it comes to choosing our life partner, we often forget it.
You have to compromise on your needs and expectations for what an ideal partner should be. Admit that you have unacceptable mistakes and everyone, including the person you are looking for, will have their share of imperfections.
Whether you have or are waiting, you cannot change this reality.
A successful relationship consists of two people accepting each other and working consistently to make the spark jump. No relationship is perfect in the truest sense of the word.
It is just a reflection of imperfections that are accepted by both partners to define their own perfection.
To believe that your relationship will magically turn into a fairy tale is pure folly. You have to do your part to form the “power couple” you always wanted to be part of.
Mistakes that hold you back
What are you afraid of?
Risks are part of our lives. The more risks we take, the more we are exposed to the probability of loss and the probability of success.
Staying single in fear of a broken heart is like refusing to go to work because you could kill yourself on the way. Did you also think about the other side? You could reach the office just as well and unscathed.
I am definitely not here to convince you to commit to a relationship, even if you are not ready for it or other personal problems stand in your way.
But in exceptional cases you should ask yourself: How do you want to know which type suits you and what is really important to you if you don’t make wrong relationship decisions?
Take this for example – you might like men who are carefree and happy. But the last time you fell in love with a man who loves freedom, you suddenly realized that fantasy is better than reality and you can hardly tolerate his carefree nature.
If you are not confronted with reality, you cannot discover crucial truths about yourself. Every experience reveals a lot about ourselves. You may want one thing, but you need another.
Relationships are not linear. You have to pull together the sloping road, the sharp edges, the uncertain curves and bends to reach the final destination.
Along the way, you can explore yourself and the journey will reveal hidden truths about you that you didn’t know yourself. You get to know your limits and your skills as a partner.
A relationship, perfect or not, teaches us virtuous lessons in life – patience, acceptance, empathy and understanding for another person, love for someone with no ifs and buts, compromises.
True love is not granted. You have to get lost on the way, you have to try and fail, you have to test yourself, you have to break your heart. You have to fail in love. It’s not lucky. It is failure, failure, failure, failure until you hit the target.
Heartache is a transformative experience. If you don’t hit the bottom of love, you will never learn to pick yourself up and appreciate the person who comes later in your life and really loves you.
To get to that person who is meant for you, you need to prepare for trials and tribulations.
Being with the wrong person teaches us what is undesirable, what to avoid, what limits to set, and what is unacceptable. For us, the wrong choice of partners will only define the “right partner”.
The wrong relationships will never feel complete, they will question your tolerance, drive you crazy, but once again they are eye openers.
You need to meet with the wrong person, connect with those who are “not your type” to fall into the arms of the one who is rightly compatible with you.
It’s okay to be single. Appointments are fine. It’s okay to be unsure. It is okay to make mistakes. Falling and getting up is fine. Ignorance is fine.
Do not hold back. Let your emotions run wild. Be fearless.
The person who is meant for you will cross your path and in the meantime you can live your life to the fullest.
It’s okay to make mistakes in love instead of waiting for the perfect relationship.