Why do couples stay together even though they no longer love each other
Over time, many couples only develop a community of convenience out of love. But why not? What is actually so serious about this?
Almost all of us today are looking for great, everlasting love. But what if a relationship is closed and eventually develops into a community of convenience? It is usually said disparagingly about these couples that they are only together for convenience. It’s actually not as bad as it seems.
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Because when the love between two people is gone, something happens: Suddenly there is trust instead of passion.
Even couples who have been together for decades still hold on to their marriage even though they no longer love each other. They stuck together as a good team for years, supporting each other and maybe even raising their children.
And even though they’re grown up now and their parents realize there’s nothing left of love, they stay together. After all, there aren’t very attractive alternatives in old age, and few want to be alone for the rest of their lives.
Then they just live in separate bedrooms in the same house. It’s not romantic, but there’s nothing wrong with it, is there?
The longer you stay in a loveless relationship, the less worth you feel. There’s very little intimacy and just general communication, and you’re not exactly your partner’s priority. Although not intentional, it is a form of emotional abuse and can destroy both partners’ self-esteem.
Each of us probably knows at least one partnership or marriage that is not working. But still the partners do not want to separate. Relationship psychology isn’t very advanced yet, but that doesn’t mean nobody is studying it. One of the main points that has been researched is the reasons why unhappy couples stay together.
According to the study, there are many reasons why someone stays in a relationship, even if it hurts. There are often reasons outside of the partnership itself. However, religious reasons or reasons of cost can also play a role.
Let’s take a closer look at the reasons:
It’s hard to understand when you’re on the other side of the fence. But it’s best to consider the person’s reasons first. To give you an idea of what the most common causes are, here are a few:
1. They’re sticking to an arranged marriage
No matter how you look at it: Arranged marriages are also an issue. They are dictated by the culture and are mostly without love. But some families are sticking with it because of the economic benefits. Some couples even end up falling in love. While some couples are content to marry anyone because it is what is best for them.
2. They don’t want to be alone
The saddest reason why someone would want to be in a relationship with someone they don’t love is when they are afraid of not having anyone in their life and being alone. These people often feel insecure. This makes it difficult to trade unloving relationships for a life that has no relationship.
3. Because they are interdependent
When people are in a dependent relationship, the line between love and dependency is often unclear. People who are dependent on others often can’t even distinguish between their love for a partner and their need for a hug. That’s why they hold onto their relationship so strongly. They believe that’s what they need.
4. Because they seek financial stability
It’s hard to believe, but many people aren’t willing to give up love if it means giving up their financial stability. They don’t want to live freely without feeling financially secure. So they remain in a loveless relationship.
5. Out of guilt
It cannot be helped that there are people who are willing to sacrifice their own happiness in order not to cause pain to others. Some people have relationships with people they don’t love because they feel it is a duty or responsibility to stay.
They stay in this relationship without love or feelings because they feel they owe their partner something. It doesn’t matter whether it’s for financial or emotional reasons. Even if they don’t feel anything for this person. You feel guilty just going and staying like that.
6. Sometimes it’s a different kind of love
When someone cares for someone without asking anything in return, it can be a different form of love. It’s not romantic love with passion. But these people might never hesitate to offer anything to make the other happy. Just because they don’t have romantic feelings doesn’t always mean they don’t love each other in some way.
7. Because of legal matters
When talking about legal matters, some people have certain requirements that they must meet. For example, there are regulations that don’t allow people to be in a relationship with whomever they want.
This could be a citizenship issue. It could be same love adoption, insurance, or maybe medical benefits. All of this could lead people to get married to someone they actually don’t love.
8. It makes them feel needed
Nobody likes to talk about it, but it happens. It’s true that too many people agree to a relationship because it makes them feel wanted and needed. Being admired is an affirmation of their existence in exchange for the feelings of others.