And when they come back … please don’t take them back.
“They keep coming back.” I still believe that. Some come back because they miss the past and wonder if you would answer. Some recognize the mistake they made and want to get it right.
Some feel so guilty about how it ended up just coming back to clean their waistcoats and then leave. And some come back forever.
And you can’t tell when someone is coming back or why.
But I’ve always firmly believed that if you’ve treated someone well and at least tried to deal with them with grace, they will find their way back to you.
So when they come back I will ask you to remind you of a few things.
- How much you cried during the last conversation.
- How they broke the trust that binds every relationship.
- How difficult that conversation was, sitting there and listening.
- How confused you felt at the moment when tears welled up in your eyes.
But most of all I want you to remember how easily they left without looking back.
I want you to remember how hard it was to sleep and eat and function during those first few days that turned into weeks that turned into months.
I want you to remember the friends and family who were there to welcome you when you felt bad and how their hearts broke too.
I want you to remember how long you stared at your phone hoping it would ring. It just didn’t.
I want you to remind yourself how difficult it was to even date them again because you gave your heart away so easily because you thought you could.
I want you to remember those really dark nights that nobody knows about and the thoughts that plagued your mind.
The uncertainties. The doubts . The uncertainty. The pain that you’ve got used to.
I don’t say it to hold a grudge or to stay angry. Because I want you to remember other parts too.
How you had to pull yourself up again.
How you had to be strong when you felt so weak on yourself
How you chose love when an example of love thwarted its meaning.
How you had to forgive even when the words sorry were silent.
How you had to learn to love yourself again.