When you came into my life, I was so lost. I was in a dark and lonely place that I did not know how to get out of it.
After being abused by men and after using me, I felt unworthy of love for years.
The walls around me had never been so high and I had absolutely no intention of letting a man come and break them.
But miraculously, you started to make me turn my head, even though I was terrified.
I warned you and I told you to stay away from me. I was too difficult to manage.
But unlike all the others, you were ready to do whatever it took for me to become yours . You had chased me.
You made me feel beautiful every day without fail. You told me that you loved me every morning and every night.
You waited patiently for me and you never pushed me to do what I did not want.
You sparked a spark deep in my soul. A spark that I had not seen in years.
A spark that whispered: “You’re good enough and you always have been.”
When I collapsed one night, crying because I was so afraid of being vulnerable and letting you in, you hugged me and you told me it would go and you would always be there .
But … where are you now?
I thought you were different from all men before. I was so wrong. You were an indisputable wolf with a sheep appearance. You were worse than all of them.
Once you managed to ransack my walls, brick by brick, and the last room was gone, hell went wild and that’s where the games started.
You had finally won a battle of the sick, which I did not even know had begun.
Now, I was entirely yours to control myself.
The facade you were wearing began to collapse and the man you had pretended to be began to disappear.
Suddenly, you did as if I belonged to you. You’ve torn everything out of my life, from my friends and family, so I have to depend on you and you only.
The sweet “I love you” is diminished, and the “I can not stand you anymore” stuffed have been constant.
You brainwashed me so much that I finally apologized for what you were doing.
Looking back, I did nothing wrong to try to make me love a man who did not have a heart to love me. When you left me because you did not love me anymore, it completely crushed me.
What did I do to ruin ourselves? It was my fault, one way or another. But then I realized something … I did absolutely nothing wrong and the real problem was that you had never loved me in the first place.
In hindsight, I think the only thing you liked was the idea of someone who was weak enough for you to control.
You exploit weakness, you have always done it and you will always do it. You used words to make me fall in love with you.
But in the end, all you did was prove that all your words were lies, that all your promises were empty and that your intentions with me were never pure.
I do not know if you really wanted to be with me or if you just liked this game of pursuit.
You showed me the most twisted version of “love” I’ve ever seen and you left me broken on the ground without even thinking about it. You dropped my wall only to destroy me.
You probably thought that I would be broken and irreparable at the end. But guess what? My life is just beginning.
The spark that you have revived in me is still there, but it’s not you who feed it. Now I’m refueling myself and I hope it will burn you.
Even if you made me go through hell, I’m grateful. Without you, I would not be what I became today.
I’m no longer the weak girl I was when I first met you, and I’ll never be that girl again.
By demolishing me and destroying me, you ended up helping me discover a force in me that I did not know existed.
I learned so much from you.
You taught me not to trust men who know how to say everything. Actions speak louder than words.
You taught me that a real man will never make me wonder if he really loves me or not. You taught me to never bear the lack of respect.
The next man who will talk to me like you did will be thrown on the sidewalk faster than he can open his mouth to apologize.
You taught me to see in this bullshit and always defend me, whatever happens.
I will never be satisfied with a man like you. Thank you for showing me that I deserve a lot more.