Some of us believe that love does not love when it has conditions. This love does not love when it is as unpredictable as its foundations, but something that remains even when all good fades.
We call this unconditional love – the love for which everyone dies but which is difficult to obtain. One that is so pure and rare. However, there are many misconceptions about unconditional love. We must root them out and welcome their new, true meaning.
Let’s stop thinking that loving unconditionally means being submissive.
No, it shouldn’t make us people who always say yes – who risk their worth to honor the person they love. It shouldn’t prevent us from empowering ourselves just because we are unable to secure the relationship. Unconditional love shouldn’t give us a swing. There is more of what we need and want, but we know there should be restrictions because we choose what is most beneficial to us. It shouldn’t put us in the background, but rather serve as a balancing force in the relationship and generate mutual respect.
Let’s stop thinking that loving unconditionally means tolerating mistakes.
We accept imperfections. We don’t mind small defects. But we should never put up with recurring, deliberate mistakes that are made. Unconditional love sees and should object to it, but does not want to.
It rebukes and corrects, but with care and meekness. We don’t have to force the other to change, but we have to show that we also strive to improve them.
Unconditional love doesn’t shut our mouths. It should express how we feel after what we see because, despite failures, we will prove that we still love each other.
Let’s stop thinking that unconditional love takes all of our lives.
It is good to show that we really love one another when we give so much for each other and expect nothing in return, but at the same time, we should be saving something for ourselves. We cannot compromise as individuals.
Let’s not exhaust everything, because how can we pass on when we lose our resources? How can we get things going when everything goes wrong after not taking care of our own well-being?
How can we achieve the dreams we build with the person we love when we have never taken the time to lay the foundations for our own dreams?
How can we say that if we have left ourselves in the first place, we can never leave our partner?
It’s just a cycle. We give what we have and therefore it is better to save. Unconditional love should not teach us to lose ourselves, but rather teach us to build a strong, full life that is the basis of good relationships in other aspects.
Let’s start thinking that unconditional love is something that increases our worth.
Often times we think that we cannot give unconditional love if we also think about our worth. But the truth is, unconditional love is far better given when we choose to protect the value we deserve.
That makes us wiser. And when we love with wisdom, we learn that the real meaning of unconditional love is to encourage the growth of both parties. It means taking care of the other while we are taking care of ourselves. It means making the other happy and making ourselves happy.
It means teaching the other the idea that we are worthy of getting the same amount of love. It is never one-sided as many people think. It is never easy for the person we love to overlook responsibility for protecting our own worth.
Unconditional love makes us stronger, stands on our principles, and keeps our worth unsullied and valued. She is confident that we can love unconditionally without losing ourselves because we are doing the same to ourselves. So if the other person leaves anyway, this is not a loss across the board.
We don’t love unconditionally only to lose the other. We don’t love unconditionally in order to appear nice. And most importantly, we don’t love unconditionally in order to convince the other to love us back.
We love unconditionally because it’s the right thing to do. In fact, the idea of the unconditional should already be inherent in the idea of love. Otherwise, it never really loves.