“I love you too”.
My three-year-old sometimes tells me that. I never get tired of hearing this, although sometimes it is strange for me to say “I am you too.” I usually say, “I love you more.” This, of course, is true, but also this feeling of guilt, because he seems to be responding to my confession, while I did not say it first.
He once said this to me when he was smearing himself on the couch, half asleep. I stroked his back, was moved by his little hands, with which he grabbed my hand. And his adorable hair … so cute it hurts. He is happy with me and I wanted to dissolve in him. This is one of those moments that mom doesn’t want to forget.
And then it dawned on me. We forget – most of it.
That night will be forgotten, just like every other with every other child.
Those cute mispronounced words. These are sincere “gifts”. Lovely smiles. Funny conversations. Amusing performances. Even the moments when they were hurt. The moments we vowed never to forget because they are so bright.
We think these unique moments will end up in the Important folder in our mind. How could it be otherwise? But the reality is different. I don’t know which hurts more: guilt, shock or sadness.
Guilt for forgetting such important moments, moments that I should have shared with future grandchildren.
The shock of realizing how awful mind can be. I cannot trust him with important information. Although maybe you shouldn’t be surprised? I forget a lot of important things. But I’m a mom. Moms don’t forget the details and details of their children, right? How is this even possible?
Excessive sadness for such a loss. It’s like losing your memorable photos on fire knowing that you have no negatives or copies left. These memories can never be played again.
That’s too much. Nobody wants to think about it. How to deal with it?
Mothers need to remember that such moments, even if they are forgotten, are what connects us with our children.
It persists for many years, although our relationship is changing.
Details are forgotten, but not lost . Like strokes of a beautiful painting – we may not see them separately, but we see the effect of their merging together. We look at the picture and feel the emotions of each memory together.
Children don’t remember, but they know. They are constantly changing due to love and tenderness, and this forms an unbreakable bond.
Young mothers : I would advise you to write everything down, but this is impossible. Try, but don’t blame yourself if it doesn’t always work out.
Mothers with older children : no need to focus on what we have lost. Smile knowing that there have been times with children that have left their mark on our lives.