The problem is that you knew exactly what she felt about you from the start. And you also knew that you cannot reciprocate. But you still allowed her to fall in love with you.
Maybe you thought you were just nice. You definitely felt comfortable with her near you – and as she tried so hard to be what you needed, she fell even more in love with you.
You didn’t care about the little things, but it was exactly these things that meant so much to her.
It was the time that you spent together and that you probably thought twice about her and the relationship.
But she felt it and she knows that it was not a one-sided feeling. That was too strong to be.
It was this eye contact that lasted longer than it should.
It was that hug, a simple gesture, and when your hands accidentally touched and felt the spark between you.
It was at that moment when you looked at her and she immediately felt that you were watching her.
It was at that moment that she gathered courage and said “I love you” to you.
And while she was waiting for you to tell her the same thing, her face went red and the seconds felt like hours. But then you said it back.
It was the news you sent her when you thought of her.
It was the lyrics that you sent her just to let her know, “I’m doing this” and “I’m thinking of you”.
It was every time she was gone and you said to her that you missed her.
It was every time you said the right words to her. You knew exactly what to do and say.
You made her think she had a chance with you.
It was every song and book that you shared with her, that she repeated or reread because she liked to think of you.
It was the like, day and comment that she woke up smiling just because she saw your name on her screen.
And it was every time you posted something. She knew you wanted her to see it, but what she didn’t know was why ?!
Because you tried to get her attention even though you actually had her all the time.
But you haven’t taken any steps or tried to change anything.
Instead, you let them hover between “maybe” and “what if”.
And while you weren’t sure of your thing, it was getting safer
Maybe you weren’t ready for someone like her. But the world doesn’t ask if you’re ready to meet the right person. She simply brings you together with her and she hopes that you will recognize how lucky you are and act accordingly.
But you didn’t do that.
And instead of disappearing, she stayed. Many questions went through her head and she wondered why she wasn’t good enough for you. What else she could have done for you. She focused on her mistakes because obviously she wasn’t good enough for you.
Then you even had the courage to put the blame on her just because she felt these things for you.
As if it was her fault that she fell in love with you. In fact, you made her feel all of these things.
You made someone feel these things who would neither hurt you nor do the same.
The worst thing you can do is get someone to fall in love with you and then not be there to return that love.
You can’t just touch someone’s heart, step so close, and then wonder why that person has certain feelings for you.
That’s not fair.
This woman loved you. She loved you so much that she agreed with everything you told her.
She loved you enough not to talk about how she felt, but she still tried, unobtrusively, to be what you needed.
She loved you enough to tell you when she thought the time was right just to meet with rejection.
If you’re confused and wondering why she feels like this, imagine how confused she feels while wondering why you don’t feel the same about her.
She wonders how she could misunderstand all of these signals.
But now she doesn’t love you that much anymore. She doesn’t pursue you after you chase her away just because she showed you her feelings.
She loves you enough to let you go because she’s still trying to be selfless while picking up the parts of her broken heart. And as you leave, she smiles at you and doesn’t say unfriendly words.
Because she still loves you. You may not see it now; but the person you will miss most in the end is the one who loves you even though you broke her heart.