The only thing I regret now is that I loved you more than myself

I don’t regret meeting you – the only thing I regret is that you used me so hard.

How can I regret meeting someone who made me feel like I could fly? Or how could I regret ever meeting you if you were the one who made me what I am right now?

To be honest, it wasn’t your love that did it. It was the way you took advantage of me. I allowed you to use my energy, my emotions and my love. I allowed your toxic love to influence my own because I believed that the man I fell in love with would come back to me. I firmly believed that my love was stronger than yours. But then I was wrong. Because it never was.

I do not regret choosing you, I regret that I have always put you first.

If I really love then I give everything and nothing can hold me back. When I loved you, I love the way you smile, I love the way you breathe, I love the way the vein appears on your forehead when you’re angry and upset.

I loved how wrinkles appear around your blue eyes when you laugh from the heart. And I loved the fact that I was allowed to fall in love with you every day. But instead of myself, I put you first. Your well-being was more important to me than my own. I decided to fight your demons before my own. I decided to save you just to destroy myself.

I don’t regret making you my priority, I regret that I believed that you would do the same for me.

I’m silly, isn’t it? I believed so hard if I showed you that I was really interested in you and would do anything for you, you would also start to be interested in me and do everything for me.

I thought that if I love you strong enough, my love will somehow heal you completely. I regret hoping that you would change because my heart broke every time you left me. It broke my heart every time, every night when I had to sleep in bed alone.

It broke my heart to have to stand in the kitchen every morning and to know that you are not at all interested in me and my person. It hurt to know that I am not your priority – that I am only a choice in your life that you will never make.

I don’t regret letting you in my life, I regret letting you let me destroy you.

I will never regret letting you into my life because for a while what we had was something really amazing and very special. For a while, I was the happiest woman in the whole world. For a while, I actually had a reason to believe that you loved me too, and I hoped that you would allow me to be part of your life, just as I allowed you to be part of my life.

I only regret that I allowed your words to penetrate my heart so deeply. I let your bad comments ruin my confidence. I let your bad behaviour break me every day because you only cared about yourself.

I regret that I actually knew what you were doing to me, but I still hoped that one day you would stop. I was still hoping that if I tried a little more I could change that. But repairing other people should never come with the price of your own reason.

I don’t regret having loved you, I regret that I trusted you with my heart.

If I had left you earlier, I probably would not be so hurt now. If I had decided then to put myself first, to put myself above you, I would probably not have been so destroyed now.

But I stayed, hoped and loved you. I entrusted my heart to you just to see how you drop it I entrusted my life to you just to see how you destroy it. I trusted you just to see how you go away.

I don’t regret giving you everything I’ve had because it has made me gain a lot more

I gave you my heart, my body, my mind and my mind. And what did you do You threw all of that away. Everything, every single part of me. You destroyed my mind, poisoned my heart and hurt my soul very much. But I’m stronger and braver now than you will ever be. Because I love myself in a way that you never could.

I always carry my scars with me and respect my fate. I know what I am. And I also know how amazing and strong I really am. I know that those bruises you inflicted on me will heal, I know that this poison can be sucked out. I know I can rebuild myself no matter how hard you try to destroy me. Because I finally know what I’m worth.

And in the end, I can only say that I have no regrets in life because everything I did after the relationship with you was for myself. Everything that I am at this moment is what I always wanted to be.




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