The 7 types of toxic friends to stay away from
Friends make life brighter, happier and more exciting, don’t they? Good friends are a true blessing because no matter what you go through in life, they will always be there for you.
But what happens when you don’t have good friends, you have toxic friends? And what’s even worse, when you don’t even know you have bad friends? Then what to do?
Just as a toxic partner can destroy your life, toxic friends can do the same to you; they lurk in dark, shadowy corners, always ready to pounce on you and cause you pain.
Toxic friendships are often difficult to spot because no one will openly flaunt their toxicity in front of you.
Rather, they play all sorts of mind games and tricks to fool you into thinking they only want what’s best for you, while at the same time hatching devious plans to harm you and hurt you as much as they can.
The good news, however, is that sometimes you can spot toxic friends if you pay just a little attention.
And if you do that, you can sever all ties with them and end the friendship forever so that they can never harm you in any way ever again.
1. The one who always cancels
Unreliable friends are extremely dishonest and will abandon you when they feel they have found a better alternative.
They make big plans for you, but back out at the last minute. It’s okay to reschedule an appointment every once in a while, but if it happens all the time, your confidence will take a massive hit.
Gradually you feel like you are not good enough or not fun enough to spend time with.
This is the boyfriend or girlfriend who is always excitedly making plans with you and pretends he/she is happy to see you but when the day you meet he/she says off at the last minute.
They always have plenty of excuses to let you down. Sometimes they don’t even show up and try to fool you into thinking there were no plans at all.
Worse still, sometimes they even cancel because they have something “better” in mind, giving you all sorts of sad excuses.
Before your self-esteem takes a big hit and you start to go downhill, see through their toxicity and sever all ties with them because you deserve better.
Or you can treat them as acquaintances instead of good friends and stop giving them the respect and importance you’ve been giving them all along and see what they do.
2. The one who is dominant and controlling
Wanting and respecting your friend’s opinion is one thing, but being controlled by them at every turn is just plain annoying and toxic, and that’s what a controlling friend does.
You determine your every step and exceed all your personal limits, which ultimately affects your sense of identity and your individuality.
Like romantic relationships, friendships should never be all-encompassing.
Controlling friends will always try to dictate what you can and cannot do because they think they know what is best for you and your happiness.
They will try to stop you from being friends with other people and if you protest they will cut off your money and just manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.
For example, if someone invites you to a party, your bossy friend will make the decision for you and simply say no on your behalf; You have no say in this.
If you want to watch a certain movie with him, he will decline and decide which movie you will both watch. It’s always about what they think you should do.
If you feel like you have a domineering and controlling friend, then the best thing you can do is take some time off from friendship and put some distance between the two of you.
Make friends with other people if you want to, but don’t tell your bossy friend that.
Take charge of your life and your relationships. If he reacts badly to you being headstrong and independent, break up with him for good and do what makes you happy, not what he thinks makes you happy.
3. The one who is overly competitive
A little competition among friends is okay because it can push you to do your best, but if your friend is overly competitive and always trying to feel superior, then that’s a problem.
And a very annoying problem. They will always pretend they are your friends, but the next moment they start an invisible competition that you seemingly had no idea you were a part of.
When you’ve been made the captain of the sports team, they’ll do whatever it takes to grab the spotlight so they can take your place.
If you’re the boss’ pet, you’ll do whatever it takes to change that, and before you know it, you’ll have become the boss’s pet.
They have this constant, morbid need to feel superior and always two steps ahead of you that drives them to do all of this.
In short, overly competitive people are bad friends. End of the story. end of discussion.
If you have friends, you should be able to count on their understanding, support, and loyalty and not have to be constantly on the alert out of fear that they will rob you of your hard work by working behind your back.
Leave them and focus on having friends who motivate and encourage you to do your best and cheer you on when your hard work pays off.
4. The one that always sparks drama
Drama kings and queens love conflict and are always eager to start one, even when there’s no reason to.
Being friends with them is like a 24/7 emotional roller coaster ride with no end in sight, and at some point it gets exhausting.
They are never happy about anything and pick fights whenever they feel things are too “normal”.
They are toxic friends because they will fight with you over the smallest of things, so you start to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them.
Some people thrive on drama and seek it anytime, anywhere; they can never get enough of drama.
With such people, even the slightest setback threatens to throw them off track. Did you trip while walking?
They’re acting like they broke their leg. Did you forget to call her back even though you saw her missed calls?
They get overly dramatic and accuse you of being a bad friend who doesn’t care about them at all. And the list goes on.
Such people can never be good friends with anyone, including you. They hate the normal because they carry a lot of bitterness, resentment and anger.
Being friends with such people can be emotionally and mentally draining, especially when you have to rationalize each of their questionable actions.
Let them go and focus on making better friends because they just aren’t worth it.
Spending time with your friends should make you feel relaxed and happy, not anxious and irritable, so you should be around people who make you feel good.
5. The one who’s only around when times are good
This is one of those toxic friends that’s always there for you when times are good, but conveniently disappears when you’re going through something hard and challenging.
When things in your life are exciting, good and breezy, you will always find her by your side.
But when you need them by your side in tough times, they’re never there. You find it difficult to share your feelings and pain with them because they never show the slightest interest in helping you get through it all.
You can have fun with them, but they have absolutely no empathy for others.
Are you planning a trip? you are in Are you planning a great New Year’s Eve party? They are so “in”. Want to go out for a drink every weekend? They will practically stand by your side.
However, if you try to talk about what you’re going through, they’ll dismiss your feelings by saying things like, “You worry too much, just relax,” “You’re too sensitive,” and worse, “You You’re very negative and I’m not in the mood for it.”
Anytime you are around her, you feel alone and isolated. It’s better not to have friends than to have friends like that, right?
Tell them openly that sometimes you wish they were there for you and listened to you.
If they respond positively, that’s all well and good, but if they’re still acting dismissive, then you’re better off without them.
6. The one who is a user
Users are basically using you and your friendship as a way to further their personal interests.
Friendship is not as important to them as the things you can do for them. They only care about themselves and their own needs, and they will do anything to meet them.
They are narcissistic, egocentric and selfish and will never help you when it comes time to reciprocate.
They only know how to use and exploit others to get their own needs met.
This group is probably the worst of them all. They always show up when they need something from you and once their need is met, they disappear.
They borrow money from you but never give it back. They want you to pay for everything when you go out together.
They expect a VIP invitation to all your exclusive events. They expect you to help them if they are stuck in any problem, but they will never do the same for you.
Such people are dangerous, and because they are so self-centered, they will do anything to get their needs met, even if it means hurting you.
They will spy on you whenever they want and will always take advantage of you whenever they need something from you.
This ultimately affects your self-esteem and morale, leaving you devastated.
So keep your eyes and ears open and watch them very closely. Find out if they are constantly taking advantage of you, and if your guess is correct, then sever all ties with them before they do even more harm to you and your mental health.
7. The one who is a bad influence
Your friends should bring out the best in you and make you feel comfortable in everything you do together, rather than forcing you into things that make you look “cool.”
Friends who are a bad influence on you can also get you into serious trouble.
Good friends never pressure you to break the law, do wrong, or harm yourself in any way, but bad influence friends do.
Sometimes their actions are subtle, but you will find that whenever you are with them, you get caught up in the odd questionable situation.
These people are not only toxic friends, but terrible people who are always up to something shady and wrong, sometimes at your expense.
They push you into participating in questionable activities and force you to try things that make you uncomfortable.
For example, they urge you to drink more even though you tell them you’re done; they call you boring and uptight if you don’t listen to them, and eventually you give in because you just want them to shut up.
And the next day you wake up with a terrible hangover and throw up.
There are no two options – you need to stay away from people like that. To call them a bad influence is an understatement, and getting involved with them only increases the risk of you getting into trouble.
Focus on having friends you can trust and who are level headed, and stay away from people who have constantly shown you what a bad and dangerous influence they really are.