The 6 real differences between being in love and real love
Being in love and real love are often mistaken for the same thing. In everyday life, these two feelings are actually easy to confuse and many people have not really understood the difference between being in love and being in love.
There are enough people out there who complain that they just can never be happy in love. They always seem to get into the wrong partners, thinking it was real love every time. But it wasn’t, because if it had been real love, you wouldn’t suffer like that, even if you ended up breaking up.
But how are these people supposed to know what real love is if they have never really experienced it? They may not have come close to what couples who truly love each other, rather than just fall in love, have made a big difference.
Being in love is more like a kind of addiction. However, in this case, you are not dependent on any drugs or food, but on a person. We are completely fixated on this person and cannot think of anything else. We want to be close to this person as often as possible and preferably never leave them again. Every second without him is difficult for us. That is exactly what being in love is.
Love, on the other hand, means that our hormones have calmed down and we are no longer addicted to this person, but instead acknowledge reality. We want the best for our loved one, even if it means we cannot be with them for a while or we have to back off in some other way. It’s about giving ourselves, but also our partner, the chance to grow.
To make the difference between being in love and love even clearer for you, you should be aware of the following 6 points:
1. You don’t fall in love on purpose, but in love, you consciously choose the person.
We can’t judge who to fall in love with. It just happens. The main thing is that the chemistry is right, that there is a certain desire, and that it simply harmonizes. When we’re in love, we tend to idealize that particular person and put them on a pedestal. Love only comes when the infatuation has subsided and an emotional bond has been established. In this case, your partner is no longer perfect, but a person with rough edges that you accept in him.
2. In love we prioritize someone, when we are in love then we are just comfortable.
When we are in love, we need someone to meet our needs. This is convenient for us because we hardly have to exert ourselves to feel good. But love is not about your partner meeting your needs. Love is selfless. That is why you give without asking anything back. When you really love someone, you make them your personal priority to make them feel important.
3. In love there is no need, for being in love there is.
We all have certain expectations of our fellow human beings. This is completely normal as it is in our nature. When we are in love, however, we expect that person to definitely do things for us. We expect loving news and a lot of attention. If they are not fulfilled, then sooner or later there is usually a breakup. However, when we really love someone, it’s about being compatible and showing understanding. We no longer expect anything because we no longer think and act from a needy attitude.
4. Love needs trust, being in love not necessarily.
When you’re in love, everything is still so uncertain and that is of course what makes it so attractive. We don’t have to feel safe and trust each other completely. We’re just blown away – and completely blind. In true love, however, we know who we are dealing with. We know this person and trust him. That is why there is no room for jealousy and insecurity.
5. Love is free, being in love wants to possess.
When we are in love with someone, it means that we are addicted to that person. We always want to have it around us and really own it. We want to hold on to him and not let him go. In love, however, we know that we have to release our loved one in order to be able to truly love. We do not sabotage or manipulate anything. We don’t play games. We are just real. We give our partner the freedom to do what he wants to do. That means we always love him, whether he stays with us or not.
6. Infatuation can be short-lived, but love usually lasts a lifetime.
Of course, a phase of being in love can also last a very long time. But in many cases, it only lasts for a short time. It’s about lust and, above all, about hormones. We’re just blown away and floating on cloud nine for a while. This feeling cannot last forever. Love, on the other hand, can last forever. It does not subside but gets deeper and deeper.