She was the woman of my life and I ruined everything
At 150 an hour on the highway, I know I’m driving faster than I should.
My heart gnawing at my ribcage, anger overflowing from my tense body, still reeling from this news that wasn’t really news.
Oh, poor me, dark fool.
Only now do I realize what it really means to love. This feeling of being close to madness, of almost falling into it.
But what did I believe? That we were going to “live happily ever after”?
Fairy tales don’t exist, man.
Forget everything else you’ve read or what you think you’ve seen with your own eyes at some point.
Fairy tales don’t exist, I assure you.
All these couples who seem to be dripping with happiness H24, they only show a moment of their life. Not eternity.
Because nothing is eternal, and even less love.
Love? It comes and goes, like high tide and low tide
My love for her followed this principle.
I had ended up trying to convince myself that I sometimes didn’t like him. And I showed it to him.
But I was just a fool. And so are you if you play the same game I was playing.
Fairy tales don’t exist because love requires action.
Staying there, contemplating what you have, will one day send you to a dead end.
The worst thing is that we know it yet; she had already given us clues, she had already told us.
But we still did what we wanted.
I don’t know what’s worse when I think about it.
The image of her, furious and fragile at the same time, standing in the doorway a few weeks ago as I slowly walked away… Or the last words she sent me, maybe well the last words I will ever receive from her by the way.
“I hope you regret not choosing me for the rest of your life, because you probably wish you did one day.” So good luck in your life now, I hope you are happy. »
These words will forever be etched in my heart and soul.
I know that message carried anger and sadness… But if it gave him peace to stay mad at me, I guess that’s my cross to bear.
Have you ever wondered how many nights she was going to keep loving you back, despite your behavior towards her?
I do, and it didn’t change anything.
I think all couples go through different stages in their relationship and the stories that last are the ones where both of them listen to each other and talk about their fears and problems.
But often, we just prefer to indulge in being careless, lazy, bored and boring.
And it becomes part-time love, like that, in the blink of an eye.
And then that’s how you’ll lose her, like I lost her.
I believe it’s like a curse, that there will never be enough days left in the history of the world for you and me to learn the real ropes of love.
But maybe it’s not too late for you. Not yet.
So read what follows.
Each of your evenings together, each time you walk into the kitchen and maybe pour yourself a beer or grab a handful of peanuts from the jar over the microwave, is a new chance for her to gauge the level of your relationship.
And she can decide, right there, that she’s not who she’s supposed to be with anymore.
That’s why you have to keep your brain on edge.
You always have the choice to make the times spent together count. You understand ?
Do you remember when you tried so hard to make her feel special? Why did you stop?
That’s the mistake I made, like a dick.
I loved her, but in a constant state of lethargy or a sudden adrenaline rush at the thought of losing her.
A puppet, at the mercy of the final sentence.
It’s easy, however, to maintain the flame. You think women are demanding, but all they want is to feel appreciated, seen, heard.
It costs a bunch of flowers, even those from the supermarket. A surprise invitation to the restaurant. An impromptu hug on the couch. It’s giving her the remote and letting her choose what to watch together.
Tell her she’s damn beautiful, that you’re damn lucky.
It’s looking at it, often. Smile at him. And above all, learn to listen to it. Hell, really. Not just pretending because she’ll see it and it’ll pierce her heart every time she tries.
Never forget that she can throw you off a tower with a snap of her fingers
And that she will, if ever you don’t come to your senses.
So stop being silly, tell him what’s on your mind.
She doesn’t care if you are upset, she will be patient and she will welcome your fears with greatness, kindness.
Tell her what she means to you before it’s too late. What you hope for her, for you two.
Sometimes it will be her who won’t listen to you. Or more.
But that’s okay, you have to be able to suffer the worst parts of love, while trying to dig into them to learn from them.
Pain is beautiful, in a way.
It builds character.
And the pain of loving someone deeply and rightly is more enviable than the pain of realizing later that you’ve loved long and wrong.
This pain, when you love sincerely, is the kind of pain that makes you grow.
So live, love and learn.
Flowers or dinner or anything but a start.
Because if you sit around for a minute tomorrow, she’ll probably think about leaving you forever. And the day after, it will last longer. And by the end of the week, it will be too late.
It’s like that. Time is your enemy if you are not careful.
So catch the stars in the sky. Change the course of history.
Approach her with a subtle and gentle speed. And never stop.