Who doesn’t want the one ideal relationship? But it is often difficult to achieve this goal. Relationship coach Attila Albert reveals the most important factors for lasting love happiness

The dream of the perfect relationship. We’ll tell you how the happiness of love lasts forever.

Does my relationship have the chance to be happy for a long time? Who hasn’t asked themselves that – in good times as well as in difficult times. In a long-term study (2000 couples over seven years), researchers from the University of Jena identified the factors that make for lasting love happiness. Result: Those who were already quite satisfied on their own and find someone with similar ideas about life has the best chances. Relationship coach and author Attila Albert (47, “I’m not doing it anymore”) comments on the most important factors for long, happy love.

Their values ​​are similar

In the short term, it can be exciting to be with a completely different person. In the long run, it is better if you share basic values. This eliminates deep, often unsolvable conflicts. Albert: “Typical topics are dealing with money, personal demands on cleanliness, order, and loyalty, but also ideological convictions. Anyone who is largely in agreement in advance only has to discuss the details.”

They both have a sense of humor

There is no relationship entirely without differences of opinion – from raising children to choosing a vacation spot. At the same time, having a good sense of humor relaxes any conflict. To be able to laugh at yourself or a situation. Albert: “In this way you allow yourself and the other person to change their minds or to find compromises without losing face. Anyone who has a sense of humor shows: Nothing is so serious that one cannot laugh about it together.”

They want a similar amount of closeness

Some would like to be together all the time, others need regular distance and time to themselves. A relationship has the best long-term chances when both want similar closeness. Albert: “There are couples who are together around the clock, for example when both of them work at home, and it’s perfect. Others have been happy together for 30 years, but always with separate apartments. What matters is that the ideal match.”

Everyone is satisfied with themselves

A good relationship offers the opportunity to solve problems together, such as healing past emotional injuries. At the same time, it cannot absorb everything. Albert: “It is important that both partners are already quite satisfied with themselves and their lives on their own. For example, they are happy at work, have friends and hobbies. The relationship is then a nice addition but does not come with excessive expectations or needs overloaded. ”

Nobody forgets themselves

It is of course important to be there for the other. At the same time, however, not to forget individual needs. A good relationship provides a framework for both, not unnecessarily restrictive. Albert: “It’s about being able to develop personally, for example, to cultivate your own interests and activities. That has nothing to do with egoism within the relationship, but is important in order to remain an interesting, self-determined person.”

The researchers believe that many of these factors can be controlled. Those who have kept their partners at a distance up to now can try out a little more closeness. Anyone who finds the interests of the other incomprehensible can take a closer look at them. Attila Albert: “That doesn’t mean that you should turn it into a project. To deny yourself completely or to want to re-educate the other. But everyone is encouraged to playfully try out how life together can be made more beautiful and pleasant.”


Science: The 5 factors for a long, happy relationship



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