Old age will come, but aging is not necessary. That is what most signs in the zodiac think. But not all, of course, after all, there are those who already from the cradle behave like a real grandmother.


Aries pretend that they are 18 years old. And they behave accordingly – loudly, brazenly and inappropriately. Pushing Aries into retirement is another quest that not all companies manage to get through. In order to continue to work for the benefit of this very “ungrateful” company, Aries will go through nine circles of Hell. And when justice will prevail and everyone except Aries will be fired from the office, will give up on work and drive off to Bali to surf.


Taurus in old age is the very old woman whose children and grandchildren tremble in awe. Everything in their house will happen only after their sanction, and it doesn’t matter that the children have long been living separately in another city and another country – Taurus’s grandmother has long arms. Taurus will calmly retire, which he had dreamed of since the first day of work, and the only thing that will worry her grandmother is why her descendants were born so “spineless.”


Old age comes for Gemini completely unexpectedly. “How? Pension? I just warmed up! ”At the same time, they do not notice any of the hundreds of signs of impending old age, because Gemini is not confused by gray hair in the head of a demon in the ribs. The only thing that can upset such a grandmother in retirement is that you can’t jump so quickly to the bar, and after a night at karaoke in the morning, Gemini has a terrible headache.


Retired at the Crayfish begins a second youth. If they have grandchildren, then they will immediately “transform” into a young super mom. Crayfish will demonstrate miracles of dexterity while changing diapers for one baby, helping to learn lessons for the second, rolling cans of cucumbers and ironing bedding. Well, if there are no grandchildren, and the husband for all the years of his married life with Cancer has learned to clearly follow her manuals, freedom – it’s time to build a career!


Lions are afraid of retirement for a simple reason – who will worship them if they knit socks all day and roll up jars of cucumbers. Fortunately for the Lions, at the time of going on a well-deserved vacation, they come up with solid capital, which automatically grants them honor and respect for children and grandchildren. And whoever refuses to love Leo will retire, that “good” grandmother will delete from the will and, as they say, his song will end.


Old age is not scary, because it begins with them from the first days of life. Already sitting on their pot, they grumble, call a doctor and think about whether or not to be. From the age of 30, Virgins begins to recall the “good old days” and rewrite the will every month. But by the time they are 80, this record bothers them terribly, they dye their hair blue, give themselves a freakish poodle and indulge in parasitism to all relatives in vain.


Retired scales are the same grandmothers who travel by public transport at rush hour. Neither give nor take for the scarlet flower gathered. In fact, everything is much more prosaic – just Libra tried to be cute and good-natured all her life, but in retirement, there is no point in doing this, because whoever raises a hand or tongue offends a grandmother in a colorful scarf. So Libra turns into a grandmother-terrorist, which they have always been at heart.


If we had the task of characterizing Scorpio retired in one word, we would say: “Queen Mother!” This zodiac sign is full of greatness and importance in youth, and what can we say when they have seen so much in their lifetime, so many competitors have been eliminated, so many undercover battles won – and not counted all. So, retired, Scorpio will command and rule over the younger generation, having started his personal “Game of Thrones”.


Sagittarius is the very grandmother who walks with blue hair, in a short skirt and high heels. Have you ever seen such grandmothers? And when excuse me, were you the last time in a nightclub in the area? It is there that one must go to see Sagittarius retired. In defense of Streltsov, let’s say that this zodiac sign never knew how to adequately determine its biological age, it was just not so noticeable to people around you in youth.


As the horoscope tells us, Capricorns are born grandmothers and begin to teach everyone the mind, before they get up from their pot. And the older Capricorn becomes, the worse it is – no one will leave his house without having breakfast and without a hat. But with retirement, a turning point comes, after which the countdown begins. Capricorns suddenly decide to take from life everything that she so generously offered them in her youth – and, all, they can not be stopped.


If other signs of the zodiac of pension are afraid, then not Aquarius. On the contrary, they are waiting for her like manna from heaven – finally, they will all leave behind them and they will not have to go to work every day. The first three weeks after retirement, Aquarius will indulge in idleness, but then they will get tired of it and … get a job again. But they will not go to this job to work but in order to prevent others from working and not to nurse at home with their grandchildren.


Fish are panicky afraid of retirement. Not in the sense that they will have to live on it, but in the fact that it will officially document the fact that Pisces is forever and hopelessly old. And old age for Pisces, who in ordinary life look 10-15 years younger, is a guard. So until they are 90 years old, Pisces will in every way evade retirement and ignore all discounts for pensioners in stores. And they will strictly forbid grandchildren to call themselves “grandmother”.

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