One day I’ll put my head on the pillow, close my eyes and sleep better.
But you’ll put your head on the pillow and start missing me. You will miss my smile and look for a similar smile. You’ll miss my eyes if you can not find anyone who looks at you like me, you’ll miss my touch when no one wants to hold you anymore and when you’re tired.
You will miss my words if you can not find another who understands you and knows what to say to you so that you feel better.
One day, I will sleep better and calm my mind.
But your mind will be filled with thoughts and doubts about your decision. Your thoughts will torment you, you’ll ask yourself where you failed, why you let me go, why you can not replace me and why you always appreciate something when you’ve lost it.
Your mind will make you believe it’s the right thing, that we’re not meant to be, and that you’re happier without me, but your heart will know that’s all lying and you’ll start asking yourself lots of questions ; Questions that will take more than one night.
One day I will sleep better and not dream of you.
But you will dream of me, of the precious moments we have shared, of the moments in which we almost finished each other’s sentences, of the comfort of my presence, of the passionate vibrations that filled the spaces around us from the innocence of my love for you.
You’ll wonder if I’m going to reach out or stretch you out, you’ll wonder if it’s appropriate to tell me that you miss me or if you think I miss you, and you You’ll wonder if I still remember you or if I completely forgot you.
You will lose your sleep because you lost me.
One day I will sleep in peace and know that I have done my part.
But you will override the words you left unsaid, the things you should have done, the person you should have been and the degree I deserve. You’ll hate that you did not fight harder, that you gave up too fast and did not do your part in keeping me to stay.
One day you will not be able to sleep because you will regret it and ask yourself if you could ever get a second chance.
One day I will sleep much better next to him.
And you’ll get up alone, or next to someone who does not love you, or next to someone who will not be there in the morning. You will wonder why you preferred the loneliness of love. You will feel betrayed because you thought loneliness was your friend. You’ll look around and the room will be small, empty, stifling and your heart heavy.
You’ll feel like you’re running out of breath and bothering a bit, but you can not really figure out what it is. I tell you what that is – it’s your instinct that tells you that I’ve found someone else and that I’m sleeping with a smile on my face now, while you can not fight tears.