Some stick to each other and are annoyed when their partner chews their muesli incredibly loudly in the morning, others would do anything to finally be able to experience a banal breakfast together again. Regardless of whether you are currently in a long-distance relationship or live in a confined space with your partner: For many couples, the current situation around the coronavirus is a whole new challenge. And that’s no wonder!
Epidemics or pandemics have already shown in the past that they put people’s psyche to the test and cause the stress level of the population to increase significantly on average. The pandemic, triggered by the coronavirus, is no exception and also causes more stress and lovesickness in many relationships .
Together with family and Instahelp psychologist Mag. Judith Kantor, we will show you 7 ways in which you can leave this stress behind and the exceptional situation to restart the relationship in which you rediscover your love.
1. Avoid the camp fever by learning when it is time to leave .
For a happy partnership, it is particularly important to be considerate of one another and to deal with each other’s needs with care and respect. Right now it is completely normal to want to escape the warehouse fever and to need more space for yourself. Try to give yourself and your partner as much space as possible and offer, for example, to take a long walk if the other person wants to be alone . There will be many opportunities like this over the course of time where you can show your partner that you are mindful of each other’s feelings.
2. Finally address relationship problems that have been bothering you for a long time.
If not now, when will you finally have time to talk about interfering factors in your relationship? Often these relationship problems only burst out in the affect, in the middle of an argument, which is a very bad time. Take advantage of the slowdown now and talk calmly about the things that you have long wanted to change. For example, if you are feeling neglected in the relationship, now is the perfect time to find a solution together. Try to express your wishes specifically by asking yourself, for example: When would you like to spend more time together? Which activities have been neglected so far? How do you together prevent the plan from getting lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life when the isolation is over?
3. Write a love letter again .
While we are talking openly and honestly, let us not forget to consciously and often find positive words for the other. Tell your partner what you especially like about them and start with the little things like sharing the same sense of humor. Tell your partner about the fun activities you would like to do together after being isolated. You can also make a list of all of these things and hand them over as a kind of love letter. Use the additional time available for many positive conversations and gestures that are too often lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
4. Experience what affection really means in your long-distance relationship .
As mentioned at the beginning, couples who are currently in a long-distance relationship also face a great challenge. Now try to make yourself aware that physical closeness is only part of the affection that you experience in your relationship. Blind trust, similarities and unconditional love are just as important aspects of your affection relationship and can be experienced without being physically close. Use modern digital media and strengthen these aspects in trusting conversations in which you also forge plans on how you would like to shape your future reunion.
5. Celebrate your coexistence through common habits .
Couples who share an apartment now have the opportunity to celebrate common habits . Getting up together, eating, exercising and relaxing together can strengthen the relationship. Try to find new habits even in a long-distance relationship, for example by enjoying the evening after work over a video chat over a meal for two.
6. Take 20 minutes of this evening routine before bed .
Now consciously take the time to strengthen your partnership by reflecting on your day for 20 minutes each evening.
Important questions like these, which are often forgotten in everyday dealings with one another, can now be discussed in peace. In the best case scenario, you will get to know your partner from a new perspective through this little “exercise” even after years of relationship.
7. Consciously enjoy what the other does not like in your Me-Time .
Living in a confined space can be successful if you clearly divide when you have time for yourself and when you want to spend hours together. You can also create a joint timetable for this. Then think about in advance how you would like to spend the time with yourself. For example, you could finally enjoy your exciting favorite series again, which your partner could never be enthusiastic about anyway. We often neglect what we enjoy alone because we cannot enjoy it together. Get your personal favorite activities back in your Me-Time!
From lovesickness to separation: what to do when you only think about the end of the relationship?
Despite all attempts to find a positive way together, it can always happen that a wish for separation arises. Now it is particularly important to ask yourself whether this wish was actually “only” triggered by the partnership. In exceptional situations like these in particular, many issues arise, in all areas of life. We then do not see the forest for the trees and maybe even mix relationship problems with problems that only arose from the quarantine situation. Therefore, try to consciously question where your need for separation comes from.
Together we face your relationship problems – in the couple counseling or the discreet one-on-one session
If you are currently grappling with a possible separation, or if you want to deal with seemingly everyday problems in your relationship, it can be particularly helpful now to involve an objective, third person. Our Instahelp psychologists are always available for couple or individual counseling online – also discreetly via text chat so that the partner cannot overhear in your own four walls or via video chat if you want to reflect on your relationship with an independent expert.