We have good news and bad news. First the bad: A relationship requires work and requires maturity. But now the good: The effort is worth – and not even for love!
Things to accept to love
1. No one is perfect.
One thing we can promise you: If you only know a person long enough, you will sooner or later discover something about him that you find stupid. Nobody is perfect or does one hundred percent of what you think is perfect (and to make matters worse, perception changes over time …). Only those who accept and internalize, can really love, tolerate and forgive – partners and themselves.
2. You can not change anyone.
Anyone who enters into a relationship with the idea “alas, we’ll get it” can, first, be prepared for resistance and, second, a disappointment – because we have little influence on the development process of other people. Only if you love a person (imperfectly) and want to have in your life the way he is, the relationship has a chance. But in the partnership on the potential of a person to set and to “work” on him is unfair – after all, life’s not about optimization, but about the experience.
3. It is not the job of your partner to make you happy.
You can be happy, you can be happy together – but you can not expect a partner to turn you from an unhappy person to a satisfied one.
4. Also in the relationship both need “their thing” and their freedom.
If a couple always does everything together – what else has to tell? Fun aside, but seriously: you have to be able to let go in the relationship and preserve your own identity. Sharing, yes, becoming similar, perfectly alright, dependency and becoming one – this is not loved, but usually the result of fear and insecurity.
5. Being single is okay too.
A partnership can not work if you come in, just to be in a relationship – and to avoid that, it’s best to have the experience of being happy as a single! Only those who are not afraid of being alone are willing to share their lives with someone – out of love, not out of fear.
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6. Every human being has a past.
Well, and for those too: she’s never perfect …
7. Those who love can still find others attractive.
Love and choosing someone does not mean that you suddenly no longer notice other hotties – or do you (even after a long relationship) only have eyes for the partner and do not even enthuse about any stars? Just!
8. Partnership requires a willingness to compromise.
If you really want to share your life with someone, you have to be considerate and sometimes put off. And those who can not or will is not ready for a relationship – which of course is just as okay, all in his time!
9. Love and understanding do not replace communication.
You can still love someone and he loves you – you will never be able to read each other’s thoughts! Clear words, openness, directness, addressing problems. Who can not, should learn it – and not only for love!