Living together before marriage? Advantages and disadvantages
Countless couples have probably pondered the same subject.
However, not all unmarried couples live together, although living together is common in Western culture today and is acceptable to most people.
If you and your partner decide to live together, there are a few things you need to consider first. It’s a big step that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Many people choose this option to see if they can live together in peace and harmony. What if cohabitation is a tactic used by one or both to delay marriage?
This option is very possible.
The first step you must take before making any important decision is to be completely honest during the conversation.
What if one of you dreams of walking down the aisle one day while the other doesn’t feel like making such a formal commitment?
Maybe someone has already spoken to the wedding planner and has a detailed plan for the big day.
And the other may not be that far off in the relationship or even consider marriage.
The advantages of living together before marriage
Every decision you make has its pros and cons, including extramarital life before marriage.
You may be in a hurry to give your partner the key to the house, but he may not be so willing to take it. Here are eight positive reasons to consider:
It’s not easy for two people to live together right away, even if they fall in love.
Just think of the stress you had at home with your parents and siblings. They also likely had trouble adjusting to sharing a dorm or apartment.
The same adjustment period will happen with the person you love.
Remember that love is blind and it takes time to get to know someone. For now, you can ignore some of your lover’s boring habits.
The relationship is new and you are too in love to focus on anything negative. This becomes even more visible if you live together before marriage.
Each of you will get a real sense of how the other lives and functions. The time you spend together will help you adjust to other people’s whims.
So there are no surprises after the wedding. Mild conflicts about simple things are possible, like leaving the toilet bowl open or dirty dishes in the sink.
You will quickly learn from each other and compromise when necessary.
2. Mutual financial benefit
Perhaps one of the reasons you are considering moving in with your partner is finances.
Whether you rent an apartment or own your own apartment, it costs a lot of money to run a household. It makes sense that two salaries are better than one, so living in two definitely makes sense.
3. You have the opportunity to create a stronger bond
Going out is a way for a couple to test their compatibility. The more time you spend together, the more you see the other person actually breathing.
This is also an important time to connect. Living in the same house can prove if you can keep your devotion.
4. Moving out is easier than getting divorced
If you find that the person you love is not the person you can spend the rest of your life with, then it is better to find out before marriage.
Once married, divorce is an expensive and tedious process.
5. You see what life is like for two
The person you love might be great in a relationship, but when you live together everything can change.
You’ll see all the little things that can drive you crazy. The only way to get an overview of married life is to share the space.
6. Intimacy is easier
They soon go from falling in love to becoming more intimate and it’s not just a physical relationship.
You will learn to be emotionally and spiritually intimate with your partner as it is part of the relationship. Also, it’s harder to have intimate moments when you don’t live together.
7. Friends will see you as a couple
Once you share the space, your friends and family will realize that your commitment to one another runs deeper than they thought. They will consider the two of you as a couple, not just two people dating.
8. You can share the responsibility
Running a household takes a lot of effort, and now you can get help. Having someone take out the trash or wash the dishes can also be a great relief.
Shared responsibilities give you more time to focus on loved ones.
disadvantages of living together
Even the friendliest and most devoted couples have disagreements.
When you live in the same household, it’s a bit difficult to create some distance between you and your partner. You also need to consider some other shortcomings before moving in with your loved one.
1. Different opinions about finances
You might be one of the lucky ones to find a partner who thinks the same about finances. Usually, one partner is more lavish and the other a saver.
While most couples can compromise, arguments over money can quickly ruin a relationship.
It’s better to find out if someone is stingy or wasteful before committing.
2. The wedding remains not so significant
Couples who move in together are less likely to get married.
Some have children and don’t have time to get married, or are too lazy to think they no longer need paper to prove they can function as a couple.
3. Easy way out
Cohabiting couples don’t work as hard to save their relationship. This is the most common reason why people who live together break up over time.
They will stop trying to save their relationship because marriage doesn’t bind them. However, this type of marriage is not considered as serious as conjugal marriage.
4. Legal Reasons
Not everyone has the same rights!
In reality, if you are not married, you do not have some of the rights that a married person has, especially when dealing with certain laws.
5. Lack of family support
Many religious and cultural groups believe that cohabitation before marriage is immoral.
While most people don’t mind unmarried couples sharing a home, some believe it is immoral or sinful.
When you and your partner have decided to live together and both families are against it, it can get stressful.
When there is a conflict with either side, it affects the couple’s relationship very much.
You may have to bite your tongue to avoid causing problems in the family, but try to be cultured and calm.
It’s also stressful when you’re constantly defending your partner in front of your family.
Although the objections may relate to your life situation, you may see a side of his family or friends that you dislike.
You need to think about it as it may not change your attitude if you decide to get married.
Will living together strengthen your marriage? There is no single answer to this question due to various variables.
There is simply no significant evidence that cohabitation before marriage can reduce the risk of divorce.
Also, there is not much difference in happiness between those who live together and those who are waiting for marriage to live together.