You made me suffer an unimaginable amount of pain. I gave myself completely to you and you always took me for granted. Yes, I know you kept telling me that you love me, but I never saw that love and most of all I didn’t feel it.
You knew that I was unsure about your love and our relationship, but instead of doing something about it and instead of doing something to show me your “great love”, you did the opposite. You played psycho games with me and you did everything in your power to drive me crazy.
At the beginning I thought that you really love me. I wished so much that I even told myself that you loved me, but you didn’t know how to show it properly. I also persuaded yourself that you are a closed person who has difficulty showing his feelings. So I accepted you the way you are.
I never asked for romantic gestures – I just wanted to feel loved and needed. I wanted to know that I could count on you, I wanted you to see us both as a team, as I saw each other. I wanted to be as important to you as you are to me.
And what did you do? You only played with me. It took a long time, but ultimately I found that you never really loved me and that I was only good at satisfying your ego. You enjoyed having someone who always called you when you called and someone who always dropped everything to run to you when you needed him.
It took ages, but finally, I realized that I will always be a second option for you. I realized that you were never really interested in me and that I wasn’t as important to you as you were to me. I realized that what we had was obviously only meaningful to me and that it was just something special for me.
But in the end, I took my courage together and left you.
I realized that it was time to end this game and I left you.
And now, after everything you’ve done to me, you have the courage to blame me for everything. After all these painful years, you actually have the courage to blame me for our separation. You’re trying to convince me of guilt. And now you are actually telling me that you need me and that you cannot imagine a life without me.
You never wondered what made me leave you. You never thought of all the pain you inflicted on me. Now you’re standing there trying to convince me that I’m selfish because I left you.
Apparently you never stopped asking yourself what made me leave you. You are now trying to convince me that I am selfish because I left you, but you have never thought of all the pain you have inflicted on me.
You never asked me how I felt all the times you insulted me. How I felt when I had to fight for the crumbs of your attention and love. How I felt when you looked at other girls … You never thought about my feelings, all the nights I cried myself to sleep, all the times you kept me waiting because you were doing more important things had to do.
You have never thought about my feelings while I have spent years feeling unloved and unwanted.
Now you want me to think about your condition and your feelings and feel guilty because I finally left someone who never deserved me, someone, who never did anything to keep me by my side?
I swear by it and warned you a thousand times that you would kill all the love I had for you. And even though it was very difficult, you gave your all and finally made it. Wasn’t it that you always wanted me to leave you? In any case, you always behaved as if it were so.
Anyway, the point is that you can’t blame me for leaving because you didn’t do anything to hold me. You hate me now for leaving, but actually you should hate yourself for letting me go, for never doing anything to keep me close, and for never doing anything, to keep me from leaving you
Instead of hating and blaming me, be a man, face yourself, and take responsibility at least once in your life. I know that it is easier to project the hate you feel for yourself onto me, but deep down inside you know that everything that has happened in the past is your and only your fault.
Deep inside you know that you have lost the only person who really loved you and who was willing to move a mountain for your sake. You are well aware of this fact, no matter how hard you try to run away from it.
So don’t be angry with me because I left and don’t want to come back to you. Be angry with yourself because you didn’t know how to hold me.
It’s too late to change things now that you’ve managed to ruin me and everything we had.
Remember, I didn’t go away, you pushed me away. And you are the only one who has to live with it.