I’m afraid of losing you, that you will find someone you like better or who can make you happier.
Do you know what it is like when you cannot explain to yourself how you feel about someone and then wonder why it all turned out like this?
Sometimes we complain about the unjust God and what He does to us, only to find out that it wasn’t unjust. God gives us exactly what we need.
The problem is we can’t see this because we are blinded by the pain that we don’t get what we want.
That happened to me too. For a long time, I was blinded by the anger of losing you, missing the chance to have you in my life. I just couldn’t accept the fact that I met you, we bonded when we were just strangers, got stuck to each other only to eventually lose you again.
I wanted to hold you, plan my future with you, and wanted you to stay. But you didn’t come to me to stay, you just stepped into my life to teach me a lesson and when your job was done, you left.
There was a reason God brought you close to my heart and there was a reason I was more attached to you than to any other person in my life. When I look back, you played a big part in my life, but you should only stay there for a short time to do your duty to show me a different way of life and then to let me go again.
The funny thing is that you stepped into my life at just the right time. You were exactly what I needed at the time. You helped me get so many answers and you got the best out of me. You helped me break out of the darkness and for that I will be forever grateful, just as I am grateful that God put you in my way.
I made the mistake of wanting you forever, even if that was never your role. You shouldn’t stay forever because you were just a transitional person. You were sent to make me a better person for someone who would stay with me forever and then you had to move on to someone else.
The problem is, when you left, I was frustrated because I was unable to let you go. I couldn’t understand how God could take something so beautiful from me.
Someone who healed me. But then I remembered what you taught me and I looked at things that were happening to me from a different perspective.
Then everything made sense. Maybe if you stayed longer than you should, then maybe your beauty would have disappeared, your love would have died, and maybe you wouldn’t have been as inspiring as you were before. Maybe what we had would have become a burden.
I found faith in the consolation that our story had better ended that way. Maybe if I had managed to sort it out we probably wouldn’t have found a happy ending. You were an angel sent to teach me a lesson, help me heal, and then fly away again.
You taught me how to let you go, how to detach myself, and how to realize that your role in my story is already over. Thanks to you, I have found faith in the next person who will bring God closer to me and that is exactly what I need in my life.
I’m finally fine with losing you because I now know that I am ready to meet the person who is actually meant to stay forever.
I know that I am able to recognize this person from afar because thanks to you I am finally able to recognize the difference between someone who touches my hand and someone who touches my soul.