If these 11 things don’t work at the beginning of a relationship, it won’t last
You are finally in a relationship and you believe that everything is finally fine. You say goodbye to your single existence and immediately prepare yourself for having someone by your side.
But can you really sit back and relax? How do you know if it will hold up in the long term? These 11 things should be there at the beginning of a relationship if it is to last longer:
1. You have regular contact
It usually goes without saying that you are in regular contact in a relationship. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, most couples want to know what the other is doing or how they are doing. However, if your new partner has a hard time texting you or calling you every now and then, this could be a problem. Does he say he says texting isn’t his thing? You don’t have to settle for that.
2. You talk to each other and can make agreements
Agreements can make the relationship so much easier. However, if your newcomer has problems keeping to agreements or appointments, or even making them, from the beginning, this is an indication that it could be difficult with him. How should a relationship work when you can’t rely on the other? Too busy to plan ahead? It’s a cheap excuse for not wanting to commit.
3. You enjoy spending time together
It’s true that some couples just stick together and spend every second together. You really don’t have to do everything together as a couple. But every now and then you should spend time together to keep the partnership going. If your partner needs more space than you do, that’s fine too. But you should consider to what extent you are both satisfied with your freedom.
If one would like to see the other much more, that could become problematic in the long run. Sometimes the couple needs a little time to settle in. But if your partner is almost never available in the first place and you have to constantly beg to spend more time with you, then that won’t change later in the relationship.
4. You have no problem mixing your lives
When you have finally found your partner, you should of course not change your life completely for him, as it was before. You should continue to have your girls’ nights out and pursue your hobbies. In the same way, he can continue to lead his old life. But it is important that parts of your life mix and that you do not do everything separately. You don’t want to be a placeholder, do you? However, if you are the only one of the two of you striving to bring your lives together, then you should be concerned about whether he is right for you.
5. You can speak openly to one another about the future
Men don’t like to make too many future plans – I think we are all aware of that. But men in love like to talk about future plans. They fantasize about what it would be like to go on vacation with you or think of other great things that they want to experience with you. We all have desires and dreams. And especially at the beginning in the falling in love phase of a relationship, we want to integrate our partner into our wishes. But how should a partnership work if you are not looking in the same direction?
6. You don’t argue about trifles
Every couple fights sometimes – that’s completely normal! Unfortunately, relationships in which couples argue about every little thing have a short lifespan. Especially at the beginning, you shouldn’t get into a fight about every little thing. Because that’s poison for a relationship. And most couples have problems getting rid of this tone and power struggles in the long run.
7. You share your feelings
While most men aren’t very good at expressing their feelings, men in love will at least try. Because they want to build trust in their partner. This means that he will tell you, for example, when he is unhappy. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about the relationship itself. There can also be other events that trigger certain feelings in him and that he wants to convey to you. Someone who cannot talk about it is likely to have difficulty establishing closeness. And that is really a bad sign of your future partnership.
8. Your jealousy is in a healthy range
If he starts checking your cell phone early on or is even jealous of your ex, then you know the guy won’t change. Do you really want to be with a control freak? Of course, a little jealousy can always be part of it, but it shouldn’t get too extreme.
9. You know each other’s people
Still don’t know his family or best friends? Maybe he would like to wait a little longer and get to know you better? As soon as a relationship starts to get serious, he should finally introduce you to his people. You shouldn’t settle for it and hope that he’ll finally do it. He should want it on his own because he loves you and wants to show everyone what a great woman he is with.
10. You have common interests
Of course, you don’t have to love everything that your partner thinks is great. And he doesn’t have to like everything you like, either. But some of your interests should already coincide. Because if you have nothing in common, a long-term partnership could be difficult. Think about what connects and welds you together.
11. You support each other
In relationships, we all long to have someone by our side to support us, come what may. We are looking for a shoulder to lean on and an open ear. If your partner is supportive and you support them, then that is a good sign. A partner who doesn’t care about you at the beginning of a relationship but when you need them won’t later either.