I am emotionally exhausted and need a break. A break with the liars, infidels, manipulators, good for nothing.
So I take a sabbatical. I need a little peace for once. I need to rest men and everything that comes with it.
I’m tired of playing games and decrypting hot and cold signs. I can not ask who called who first, why my SMS are left on “Vu”.
Why one day he’s the best man on earth and the next, a monster I do not recognize.
It’s way too much and I’m going to stop it. I come out of this exhausting emotional roller coaster.
For now, I need a little time alone to work on myself, for myself, and for myself.
But when it comes to knowing when I’m ready to go back and be with someone else, I’ve already set new rules.
1. Love yourself and think about yourself for once.
I was so lost in someone’s love that I lost sight of myself. I would neglect my friends, hobbies and dreams because of the other person.
I would let their words diminish my self-esteem and their actions would govern my life.
I am learning to be a stronger and more independent woman who is responsible for everything that happens to her, good or bad.
I can not tie my mood to another person. I can not expect someone to make me happy if I can not do it myself.
2. Make sure the other person knows: relationships are for two, not one, not three.
I would find myself stuck in unilateral relations in which I would be the only one to invest myself.
I would give my heart and soul for a relationship and I would finish empty-handed.
Two people must form a team, the investment must be equal and all efforts must be reciprocal.
I will never be satisfied with a relationship in which I feel lonely and emotionally exhausted.
I want someone who makes sure that I am the one and only. Who never makes me doubt his loyalty.
And that’s something I will never compromise.
3. Be with someone you can trust because without honesty, there is no closeness.
I will repeat it constantly. Before, when someone lied to me, I let it flow.
I found excuses until there were no more excuses to find.
I need someone honest and trustworthy. Someone who will not stab me in the back.
Someone with whom I can feel safe. Someone who soothes my mind and my heart.
It’s the only way to be close to someone.
4. Never try to repair someone or something.
I’m learning the difference between broken and crooked. Things that are folded can be repaired, but what has been broken can never be the same again.
I will not give endless chances to someone to change.
I can not change or repair another person if they do not recognize the need to do it themselves.
I refuse to live in a crappy situation now and hope for a miracle in the future.
If the improvements do not start quickly, nothing will improve with time.
The truth is that sometimes we do more harm to ourselves and the other person by staying rather than leaving.
5. The greatest truth is that actions are more important than words.
A “I’m sorry” does not mean much when the person starts again as soon as his back is turned.
A “I love you” is worthless when there is no investment or reciprocity to prove it.
I learned that the hard way. That’s why now I’m more interested in what a man has to offer.
His character, his personality traits, his kindness, his values and his general behavior toward me are more important than hollow words.
I will improve this list as I go along, but I think I have covered the most important basics.
Now, I come back to me. I am creating a life of which I will be proud and maintain my self-esteem.
It’s time for me to be spoiled by myself. It’s time for me to regain my strength.
It’s time for me. The rules and the men will be there when I’m ready to go back.