I really love you. But I love myself a little more. I gave you everything I had in life, I tried so hard to help you in the hope that you would stand on your own two feet again. I’ve tried so hard that you feel loved, in the hope that you would see that you are worth it.
I tried so hard to show you the man I fell in love with so much, but now I see that the man has not been around for a long time. This man somehow got lost on the way and you have become this man who only takes but never gives. A man who thinks everyone is after him, that he is the only victim.
I love you, but I can not stand it anymore. I can no longer be the one who always blames everything. I can no longer be the bad guy if I’m not. I love you, but I love myself even more.
I love you, but you do not deserve my tears. How can I stay with you and give you my love when you are the one who makes me cry again and again? You should wipe my tears from my face, you should kiss them away, you should keep me from crying.
Instead, you’re the one who makes me cry again and again. You are the one whose deeds break my heart every day. Every time you let me fall asleep alone, every time you let me fall asleep and think that I’m not enough anymore, every time you let me go without following me and think that I’m coming back. But not anymore.
I love you, but you do not deserve my love and my devotion. I’m done with giving you everything and not getting anything back for it. I’m done giving you all my time, all my love, all my feelings, just so I can fix you. I finally know that it is not my job to heal you.
I must not betray myself to complete you, I must not lose myself so that you can find yourself. This is poisonous love and I’m fed up with it.
I love you, but you do not deserve my heart. You do not deserve my love, and you do not deserve to share my happiness or pain.
You do not know how you can guess that anyway. You have never done that. You took me for granted, you took a part of me again and again, without paying attention to me. You’ve used me as a trash can, you’ve always ventilated me, but you’ve never shown any interest in helping me.
I was also very broken, I was also very sad. I also needed you next to me. Have you ever tried enough to see the pain in my eyes? Was there ever a moment in our relationship when you really saw me? Where you saw my true self?
Not the woman who is here just to help you, but the woman who loved you dearly, the woman who was willing to spend the rest of her life with you? The woman who has her own story, her own past and her own hopes and dreams? Or was it just convenient and convenient to have me near you?
I love you, but you do not deserve me.
You no longer deserve my body, mind or soul. You took me for granted, and not once have you fought or troubled for me. Not once have you shown me that you are ready to bind yourself to me, that you are ready to bind yourself to us. Not once have you made me feel loved, and I do not deserve that.
I deserve more than half being loved. I deserve more than just being there when you need me.
I deserve someone who wants me, someone who wants to spend time with me, someone who wants to put a smile on my face. Someone who wants to accompany me for the rest of our lives, not just because I’m good for him, but because he loves me. I deserve to be loved – and let’s face it, you never loved me.