I don’t know how we got here, but I still hope we can go back

“He held her hand, he held her door.
But she no longer knows how it feels.
I don’t want to leave you, I just want you again…. are like before. “

I often wake up at 12:01 p.m. and people keep asking me why I don’t sleep.

It is difficult to understand how to miss someone standing in front of you.

Not the missing are missing, but an emotional distance that feels miles away.

It is the basic necessity of what you need with a missing partner.

It’s the love between two people that goes out carelessly, and it’s like staring at an hourglass and just waiting for it to end.

It’s a heartbreaking farewell that hasn’t been said yet, but I still expect it.

My heart hurts and my hands shake because you are no longer like you used to be.

I look at you across the room – you are handsome, charming and friendly with every word. Either I’m a fool because I believe in some other kind of lie, or naive because I believe in you like I do.

And another night goes by and I stand alone in a crowd and stare at the door while people ask me where you are. I’m not sure how we got here, but I wish we would go back.

Your smile is like it was then and maybe that’s why I can’t let you go.

12:01 quickly turns into 2:00 a.m. and memories dance in my head – from what you did right and the man I fell in love with. Part of me allows the good to overshadow the bad.

Everyone needs to remind me that you can’t love half a person, but I would take every part of you and take what I get, although I know very well that I deserve a little more.

But my judgment is cloudy and I got into an emotional conflict because of my heart!

And lately, it seems that my love has become a burden, because the more I try, the further away we seem.

And I know that you are at least a little interested, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. But it’s hard for me to leave because I haven’t completely lost faith in you.

It’s hard to go forward if I just want to go back.

But all of that is not enough for me.

Because I need someone who is there both physically and emotionally. I need someone who doesn’t let me down all the time. I need someone to sit with me at night when midnight strikes and I am lost in thought. I need someone to fill me with confidence and without a doubt. I need someone to give me the things you can’t do. The things you always gave me.

I need someone who is not only good at apologizing.

But most of all, I need someone to help me sleep a little better at night without making me feel like I’m the one who’s not good enough.

I need someone who doesn’t give me much to think about when we meet at midnight.

I need someone to lie next to me and tell me it’s okay and that I can sleep again now.

I need you as the person I fell in love with …

But now I am looking at you and we are familiar strangers who are attached to it not out of love but out of fear of letting go.


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