“I am in demand, active, purposeful and successful. I almost never feel sad, but very often it is boring, insulting and sad. Yes, there are times when I do not sleep at night and imagine how He could change my life. The morning comes, and again I put a pound of foundation under my eyes and rush to work with a flying gait. While running along the road, I consider myself in store windows – well, really a “beauty”. I accept compliments from passers-by men, and here I am at work …
This is a place where I am completely proud of myself, I feel at ease, because I am really smart and beautiful. I am a fully self-fulfilling personality, colleagues and friends appreciate me. And here at work I do not need these romantic nonsense. But be that as it may, I still look out of the corner of my eye at the clock and understand that evening and night will come again soon …. And again I will be offended and sad, again I want heat. And once again, even the very positive attitude from the last women’s magazine will not save me … ”
Why am I alone? How to get rid of loneliness ? What is going on in this strange world? There are so many people in it, but I need one, the only one, dear and close. Want to get married. Or maybe I’m not looking for anyone at all? Maybe I already learned to forgive and let go, learned to be strong and independent? Maybe I don’t need this love and I don’t know how to love? And so every day, everything is there – but only your beloved cat or dog is waiting for you at home.
Yes, you say, it’s hard to be alone. But at the same time, a single woman is not in a hurry to change something in her “bachelor” life. It is quite difficult for such a woman to give up her independence and freedom. These young ladies are ready for days to complain to friends about loneliness, but at the same time, when you listen to their thoughts on the relationship between men and women, one thing becomes clear – such a woman is not accidentally lonely. She is not ready, in principle, to make the slightest concessions even in trifles. Such “loners”, finding a lot of excuses for their “not very good” character, find habits that they can’t give up under any circumstances. It is very difficult for such women to love, because their mind does not actually turn off and constantly whispers the myth of their non-ideality, their complexes, and the woman simply does not react to her true feelings and emotions.
That is why psychologists believe that the basis of such a woman’s actions is only fear. Moreover, there are a million varieties of fears, starting from “I can’t” and ending with “I am a complete failure and I don’t know how to love at all.” These fears are stacked on top of one another. And over time, it turns out a sandwich from the complexes. We are afraid to meet someone on our way. This meeting scares us. We begin to wait for a trick from the relationship, we are simply afraid of betrayal. And so the woman, even before the start of the relationship, is confident that she will be deceived and betrayed in any case. The body’s defensive reaction works – it’s better to have no relationship at all than then such a thing … And the corresponding strategy of thinking and behavior appears.
And what do we get as a result. Phrases: “I do not know a single example of a truly happy family,” “All men are the same.” Yes, a woman can say such phrases a couple of times, but this will be enough to create an installation. Because of this “sandwich,” it is really difficult for a woman to believe that relationships and love can be really easy, harmonious, and happy.
But in addition to such attitudes, a single woman also poses problems that are not entirely correct before the relationship. She actually needs a super perfect man with looks like Brad Pitt, character like an angel, and material level like Abramovich. Based on this, the installation is simple – “it should be.” Such a woman was initially set up to only take, but she is not going to give anything at all. It is such an attitude that prevents us from building normal relations and living in peace with ourselves.
The conclusion is the following: as soon as a loner ceases to demand and changes his “he should be” to “I believe that I can be happy,” then magic happens. Of course, it is not necessary that He immediately appears on a white Bentley, although this is possible. Just living becomes much easier. You begin to look at life easier, stop focusing on your “prettiness” and on your “not very good” character. It is becoming easier for you to start a relationship. And I’m more than sure that soon with this attitude you will create a happy family!