I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted so much that you fight harder for me and show me that I mean something to you.
I wanted you to tell me that you do not want me to go, that you make more effort, that you strive, that you find a solution, and I want you to tell me that I’m worth the risk, that I’m worth the change. I preferred that you live with me instead of me.
I wanted you to hold me.
I wanted you to hold me and never let go.
But you do not have that. You did not even try to stop me when I left you, you did not even try to say goodbye to me, you did not even ask me if I really wanted to leave, or if I was just acting out of anger at that moment,
And I do not know what hurts more is that you do not Kämp tightly around me or not known me enough to know that sometimes I do stupid things to get some more love to get from you.
But I ran away and you did not follow me, you did not ask me for another chance and you did not ask me if I would be fine without you.
And at that moment, I realized that you had never really fought for me. That I actually did not care about you.
Everything was your thing, at your convenience, when you had time – you did not have to make an effort – everything was always my fault.
I taught you that it was normal for me to obey you and not ask for anything afterwards, and I taught you that I would never ask you for something you can not handle.
But I am the girl who wants more than that. I am the girl who never settles down.
Maybe you wanted more, or maybe not, but either way, you never fought for more, you never asked for more, just because you did not want me anymore.
And I remember you saying that fighting should not be part of love, that you do not want to fight for people who are leaving your life, but sometimes you have to fight for people to stay in your life, dear. You have to give them a reason to stay in your life.
And I wanted you to give me a reason, a sign – a hand that I can cling to whenever I feel the need.
But you have decided not to do it and not to stretch your hand. I fought for you until I realized that you will never become a fair opponent and there is no point in continuing to fight if the battle is already lost.
I wanted to fight for you, but instead, I fought only for myself.