How to prevent the #1 cause of relationship failure
Sometimes the answer to something difficult is very simple. For example, if you’re afraid your relationship is failing and you feel like the spark isn’t igniting, then one of the best things you can do to change that is go on surprise dates with your partner. It’s that simple.
Are you in a relationship where you have fun? I mean do you guys really have fun together or is it just business? When I speak to relationship therapists, I know that before a couple seeks counseling, it isn’t fun anymore. It’s even painful to be in a relationship.
They seek out a therapist for one of two reasons. It’s either a last-ditch effort to salvage the relationship, or one of the partners is seeking reassurance that the relationship is over and asking the professional for permission to end the relationship. It’s a kind of justification for doing everything you can to save the relationship.
When a relationship is at this stage, it’s harder to rekindle the spark, but it is possible if at least one partner is committed to improving it. When both partners are committed and working toward a common goal, things will be easier and faster to improve. However, when a person takes action and has intention to improve the relationship and turn things around, there is still hope.
How surprise dates can help you prevent a relationship from failing
Tell your partner how you feel using I statements. “I feel left behind in our relationship” or “I would like to have more fun in our relationship”. Once you’ve told him how you feel, you can tell him what you’re willing to do. “I care deeply about our marriage/relationship and am willing to do whatever it takes to get us back on track,” “are you willing to help improve our relationship”?
Surprise Dates Can Put Back the Spark
How to stop the #1 cause of relationship failures
When they’re ready to get involved, share your ideas for simple things you both can do to get back together. Let her know that a good way to get back together is to have more fun, and an easy way to do that is to plan surprise dates for your partner. Let her know that you’re taking the lead and planning the first date. You can do this at home or in town.
It doesn’t have to break the bank. It can be a cheap, free date or you can treat yourself to something special. The most important thing is that you’re doing something interactive and something you haven’t experienced together before.
Some people have asked me if I’m worried about running out of things to do, and my answer is, no way. After 6 years of planning monthly dates together, over 144 to be exact, there are still things we want to try. We recently had a surprise double date with another couple at bowling. We had never bowled together before. We both love horses and riding, but have never been to a rodeo, horse show or Arabian horse show. As you can see, there are always new things to do. Live performances or comedians to see. The possibilities are endless.
Don’t worry if they don’t want to join you can ask them out and follow the suggestions above. That one small act could be the catalyst that changes your relationship.
Plan a surprise date for your partner every month for at least 3 months and see what changes in your relationship. Be patient, because changes don’t usually happen overnight, but gradually.
A couple I know was married for more than 20 years and then separated from their partner. They had raised two daughters and had simply been meant for each other for years. It’s a familiar story we all know: couples stay meant for each other until the kids are gone and they have nothing in common anymore. You are no longer satisfied with your partner.
The woman was exhausted and exhausted, but the man asked her if he could take her out on a date. She said no at first, but he kept telling her he wanted to surprise her for her birthday and take her away for the weekend.
She reluctantly accepted and he kidnapped her on the beach in San Diego. They’ve been together since they were incredibly young and initially loved going to concerts together. One of her first concerts was White Snake, which he surprised her with when she was young. He pulled out all the stops for this journey, knowing that this was probably his last chance to win her back, but he knew he had to try. She had always been the girl of his dreams. He dreamed of growing old with her and pampering the grandchildren.
That weekend in San Diego, he took her out to eat and drink at some of her favorite restaurants. It was a very smart move because reminiscing brings back the butterflies in your stomach that you felt at the beginning of the relationship. The big surprise was that he took her to a concert of White Snake, one of her favorite rock bands from the 80’s.
In one weekend he melted her heart and she decided to give her marriage another chance. She fell in love with him again, and now they’ve been married and comfortable for over 30 years — and it’s all because of a surprise weekend getaway.
Can you imagine how powerful a surprise date can be? We just need to add a little fuel to the fire to make it a surprise weekend.
Surprise dates are magic. They inspire us and make us come alive with anticipation and appreciation. Don’t underestimate the power of surprise dates. If you happen to already be in a good or great relationship, you can still use surprise dates as a preventive measure, but it’s also a lot of fun to have surprise dates with the love of your life.