How to overcome heartbreak and become stronger?
A heartache causes physical pain that can become debilitating.
Besides, the pains of lovesickness are mental pains of the worst kind.
So it’s a small consolation that almost all of us are affected at some point and that one fine day everyone will overcome their lovesickness.
In the state of emotional shock, self-confidence collapses, the ex-partner is idealized, mad desire, anger and loneliness spread.
Until time has healed all wounds – and I promise it will! – broken hearts need an immediate contingency plan.
For anyone suffering from heartache right now, here are some tips that will really help you overcome lovesickness!
What is heartbreak?
What is heartbreak?
Why does it hurt so much?
In times of heartbreak, we rack our brains with countless questions.
The dictionary defines heartache as “a depressed mood caused by an unhappy romantic relationship.”
For us, it is the feeling during or after an unhappy love, which is characterized either by separation, abandonment or unrealizable love.
It’s so easy sometimes to define terms and get to the bottom of things, even though it hurts us so much.
Because the heartache caused by separation can produce very strong psychological, emotional and physical symptoms. We feel bad, it hurts, we are listless and in a bad mood.
The important thing is that you take heartbreak seriously.
Even when it hurts. Ignoring or compensating will get you nowhere…
What causes heartache?
“One person leaves, love remains” is such a beautiful and often true saying.
Everyone knows the feeling when your heart breaks – the feeling of sadness, emptiness, lack of intimacy, hopelessness and nagging questions:
- What did I do wrong?
- Why did she or did he leave?
- How could I have prevented the end?
The end of a relationship is always painful and rarely goes smoothly, whether it’s a breakup after a short-lived partnership, a marriage or a long-lasting relationship that’s on the verge of to end or which has ended.
Heartbreak can also happen without a relationship, and sometimes the loved one doesn’t even know the other person’s feelings.
From a physical point of view, this perceived psychological stress in case of heartache triggers a disturbance, especially in the balance of hormones and messenger substances.
This too much and too little of various important substances in our body triggers the typical symptoms of heartache.
There is a physical/biochemical explanation for the negative feelings and multiple symptoms of heartache and effects of relationship problems.
Typical secondary symptoms of heartbreak are love addiction, relationship addiction, attachment addiction, or bullying.
Both gender are affected by these problems.
It’s easy to say, but it’s often just true.
The different stages of heartbreak
One thing is certain: each person and each relationship is unique.
And just as everyone enters a relationship differently, everyone experiences separation in their own way.
Nevertheless, a separation and the heartbreak that follows generally take place in identical phases of mourning.
Depending on the situation and the personality, these last more or less long and vary in intensity.
Usually, one partner suffers more from these symptoms of heartache than the other. And it is often the one who has been left behind who has to go through these phases of separation pain more intensely.
Only after dealing with the pain and the first heartbreak is it possible to see the new situation as an opportunity and overcome the lovesickness.
First stage of separation: the emotional shock
The shock is all the greater since a separation from one’s partner also means the abandonment of common rituals, the possible loss of the circle of common friends and the end of common dreams and projects.
Second phase of separation: anger and sadness
After a longer or shorter time, the first phase of the emotional shock ends and gives way to a second phase during which the people concerned accept the reality of the separation.
Third phase of separation: reflection and reorientation
Over time, anger and sadness may still be present, but these feelings come and go at longer and longer intervals.
It is a sign that you are now on the mend and in the third stage of separation.
Fourth Stage of Separation: A New Beginning
However long it may take, it is certain that you will eventually reach the fourth and final stage of separation, the new beginning.
You have now left your relationship behind and are ready to move on.
What are the symptoms of heartache?
Everyone is vulnerable and has developed a more or less thick protective layer around this vulnerability.
When you are heartbroken, that protective layer shatters. This can have a wide variety of effects and symptoms of heartache: a lump in the throat, cramps from crying, stitches in the heart, to the proverbial “broken heart” (“heart syndrome”). broken “).
But of course “milder” heartache symptoms such as headaches or upset stomach and loss of appetite also occur and much more.
In short, the symptoms of heartache are numerous:
- headaches and body aches
- crying spells
- heart pain
- shortness of breath and difficulty swallowing
- sleeping troubles
- tiredness and listlessness
- drop in performance
- anxiety about the future and depression
- loss of appetite
- weight loss or weight gain
- stomach ache
- social isolation
- aggressive behaviour
These symptoms can occur together or individually and one after the other.
You almost never really have all the symptoms of heartbreak at once.
How to overcome a heartbreak?
Is it possible to overcome heartbreak?
Yes, but we will have to accept the idea that it will not work out overnight. You must be patient.
1. Cry a good one to get over heartbreak
When the pain of separation is fresh, neither sophisticated treatment strategies nor heroic attempts to take it all in stride work.
During the first few days – even weeks when the emotional shock is deep – it is perfectly normal to give in to grief and pain uncontrollably.
Express your feelings: scream, sob, use a ten-pack of tissues, listen to sentimental music, and keep crying.
Self-pity and crying days in bed are expressly allowed!
2. Talking helps overcome heartache
Under no circumstances should you attempt to deal with grief alone for a long period of time. Talk about what you feel: a feeling, the pain, the sadness, the anger towards the ex-partner.
Call your best friend and groan her ears.
You’ve just received official permission to feel sorry for yourself and harass those around you again and again with the same subject: your acute heartache.
And, yes, even if the whole thing has already been rehashed three times with the same conclusion.
3. Recognize your quirks
It’s never been clearer to you than in the worst lovesick phases: your ex is the loveliest, smartest creature on God’s earth.
You will never find someone so good for you. This person broke your heart!
He is responsible for all your pain!
And honestly, how many times in the past have you been annoyed by his stubbornness, ignorance, outbursts of jealousy, etc.
Be careful not to idealize your ex.
Be aware of its negative sides!
Make a list of everything that bothered you about your relationship. You will see: once you are more objective in your judgment, the heartache will gradually lessen.
4. Cleanse to de-stress during a heartbreak
Make sure the cause of your grief gets out of your sight as much as possible! Even if it hurts at first.
Keepsakes like photos or letters, his old T-shirt and his toothbrush go straight into a big box and now live in the attic or basement.
Anyone who constantly looks at old photos and listens to sad songs only prolongs their heartache more and more. Take care of your heart and avoid torturing yourself.
5. Train properly: use sport to overcome heartache
A good method to stop the mental loop for a moment, let out anger and disappointment and really let off steam is sport!
Sport, whatever it is, is ideal for clearing your head and producing some happiness hormones.
Movement helps with depressed moods and the constant dull pain that torments her.
Go dancing, do some yoga, swim a few laps. If you feel like you really need to let off steam, you can also do some kickboxing or weightlifting.
6. Treat yourself to overcome a heartbreak
Once the first phase of heartbreak is over, the next big step arrives.
And that means whatever is good for you now belongs at the top of the priority list. Treat yourself to something nice, take a break, be lazy and decadent.
A date for a massage, a new hairstyle, a new outfit (everything he always thought was stupid, you guessed it!). Hugs for body and soul are exactly what will help you best cope with heartache.
7. No Harassment!
Don’t dream of spying on your ex after the breakup!
And not for moral reasons, but above all to help you. Any attempt at contact reopens old wounds and makes your grief bigger rather than smaller.
So, the best thing is to delete all of his numbers from your phone (yes: really all of them!), to cancel your Facebook friendship, to change your favorite ad.
Anything that keeps you at a distance helps you gradually detach yourself from that person and free yourself for a new chapter in your life.
8. Overcoming heartbreak requires new rituals.
There are so many things that go wrong in a relationship: meeting old friends, learning a new language, regularly taking Pilates classes, wasting an entire Sunday in bed, going on the long and wonderfully unreasonable shopping spree. or just go out with another man.
You should definitely make up for lost time now!
There are no more excuses and it’s amazingly good! Find new hobbies, initiate new rituals you never had time for.
Whatever is good for you is the right thing to do now.
9. Flirt instead of succumbing to heartbreak
In fact, you don’t feel like leaving the house and jumping into the crowd right now. Treat yourself: do it anyway! Accept all invitations that come your way.
Socialize! First of all, it’s good to be around people who make you feel like you’re not alone in the world and can enjoy life as a single person.
Second, testing your own market value will build your confidence, and you’ll find that there are plenty of men and women who appreciate your qualities more than your ex.
10. Take your time
And with all of this wonderfully clever advice, you’ll probably think to yourself, “It’s all good advice, but it’ll never help my heartache.”
Yes, they will. You just have to give yourself the time that heartbreak like this takes.
You won’t be able to get over it and forget your past relationship in a week.
But if you take the time, it will get better and better. Promised.
We women often make the mistake of blaming ourselves.
Still, the intense processing time is important and ensures that we learn something from what happened.
For the next relationship, which hopefully won’t break our hearts again and will have the chance to be the best of our lives.