I’ve already written about how you can get your ex back, but I haven’t really covered how he can miss you more. That’s what it’s going to be about today.
First, one main point I want to address is this: you don’t miss anyone who is still there, you miss someone because he’s gone, right?
It’s just like hell, but after a breakup it’s really worth mentioning as people overlook it all the time. Your first thought might be to keep in touch so that it doesn’t forget you.
This will not work! He can’t miss you and realize that the breakup was a mistake while sneaking around and trying to verbally tell him how stupid it was to break up.
This brings me to the process you have to go through so that your ex misses you.
1. Give him time and space
Don’t contact! Break all contacts with your ex. At the moment your silence is real gold. To really make him think of you, you have to be 100% absent.
Even if it sounds simple, in practice it is hard as hell not to contact someone you have been close to for months or even years.
His own imagination is your secret weapon to get him back. You have to give him time to forget the bad things that happened at the end of the relationship and put on the pink glasses.
In addition, spending time without contact gives you the opportunity to think about the breakup – and this perspective is invaluable.
Even though I usually say that after a breakup, you should disconnect from social media, you shouldn’t – if you are looking to get it back.
If you are really interested in closing the door and going ahead completely, it’s time to press the delete button.
Right now just click on “unfollow” not “unfriend” so you won’t be tormented by his Facebook updates.
The idea is that you should create an “out of sight, out of mind” situation so that you can get out of the super reactive place where everyone gets emotional right after a breakup.
You might be tempted to write him messages online or post vague public messages. Also avoid posting these tearful, angry photo memes. Don’t do that under any circumstances!
Trust me, you’ll regret it later. For this to work, you may not call, write WhatsApp messages, leave Facebook messages …
More than anything else on this list, you must NOT be in contact for a while – at least a month, if not longer. If he cuts it off, he misses you and wonders what you’re doing.
2. Be spotlessly polite and friendly with every contact, but NEVER beg for it to come back to you
In my experience, anyone who breaks up with you thinks that you hate him. This is made worse by the fact that people say many terrible things when they separate.
The person who initiated the breakup is usually afraid of more hurtful talk and negativity.
Men in particular are more sensitive than they admit. If you’re rude to them after a breakup, they think they don’t have a chance to ever get you back, even if they miss you and really regret their decision to break up with you.
People tend to separate and then come back together, but they cannot love you if they are afraid of you. Don’t be rude to your ex, just don’t initiate contact with him unless it’s important.
3. Allow yourself to let go of the pain
By clinging to his memory, you won’t get closer to him – keeping the pain of separation alive will only harm you.
Concentrate on remembering the good times you both shared as you let go of your pain of separation.
Often people extend the time it takes to feel happy again because they mistakenly believe that somehow they have to be unhappy to rekindle the spark. Nonsense.
Allowing yourself to overcome pain makes you happier, more productive, and much more magnetic than despair.
I promise you that no one else got anyone back and had a healthy relationship in the long run by showing how devastated, depressed and heartbroken he is.
This “hurt” energy is repulsive – and it won’t make your ex miss you. Don’t torture yourself to show something to someone else. It only hurts you and makes the whole situation worse.
4. Don’t blow tribulation
I know that separations hurt like hell. You have the right to blow a little tribulation, but don’t do it in public and pretend until you make it.
Make a happy face in public (including your social media). Not obviously happy or “look at me, I’m sooooo wonderful”, only positive overall.
As I said, DO NOT post on the bloody details of your breakup on social media. Only the people that you are sure will not tell your ex – your best friend, not your mutual friends.
Yes, it is an illusion that you will not be influenced by the separation, but it is important. Let everything that happened during your breakup stay in the past. Trying to prove how devastated you are is not a way to make him miss you and want you again.
5. Don’t stalk him
Don’t cyberstalk, drive past his house, accidentally “show up” at places you’ve visited together or anything else.
The point at the moment is to break your chemical dependency on your ex, even if you ultimately want to get your ex back.
If you’ve already done these things, I understand, really. But now it’s time to put your loving focus back exactly where it belongs – on you.
6. Live and reshape your life
That means going out with friends, making new friends, reshaping your hobbies and going on. You need to start new routines that don’t involve your ex.
Now it’s time to revise your look by getting in shape, changing your hair, and/or experimenting with new clothes.
It’s time to start a hobby or to regain interest in your passions. It’s time for you to spread your wings and change your life positively.
7. Avoid open games for his attention
Don’t actively try to make him jealous by posting pictures with other men on social media. That comes across desperately and played over. Keep concentrating on yourself without having to prove to others how “good” you are!
8. If you feel like doing something no matter what, just wait
It’s totally common for you to want to do something, something to get his attention – as if your life depends on it. For now – or if you’re in doubt, don’t do anything. Just wait.
By staying away from him, you give him the opportunity to think about his decision and decide whether he wants to come back to you. That’s what you want from the start, isn’t it? Give him time and space.
Do you want another chance to build the amazing relationship that you know you can have with him?
Then you have to act before it’s too late.
If your ex still loves you, you have a pretty good chance of getting him back as long as you avoid several key mistakes.