A breakup is painful, but at the same time, it means change and thus the chance to lead a better and happier life. The following things will help
Stop it, …
… to bathe in self-pity
Yes, things turned out differently than you had planned, but you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and complaining about how unfair life is. Because that won’t help you cope with your breakup. Instead, be grateful for things that are going well (yes, they are) and start making plans for the future about where you are likely to be in a year.
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… give up your power
Every time you say things like, “You drive me crazy” or “You make me mad” you are giving up your power. You are not taking 100 percent responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Instead, try to be more self-centered: “I’m angry because I don’t recognize myself.”
… avoid a change
No matter how you look at the breakup, it means one thing above all else: change. If you avoid this change, not only are you falling by the wayside, you are missing out on life. Rather, focus on how you will deal with the changes that await you.
… to focus on things that you cannot control
No matter how hurtful it is what your ex is doing or doing, the more time you spend getting upset about it or hoping it will change, the worse you will feel. Use this energy to make your own life and the existing situation better because you are the only person who can control you.
… wanting to please everyone
People get hurt when they break up. Unfulfilled dreams or expectations lead to pain and anger. But you can’t please everyone. The best thing you can do is stay true to your principles and make decisions so that you can best live with the consequences.
… to make a mistake twice
The really helpful thing about a relationship (and at the end of it!) Is that you learn a lot about yourself and your needs. Think about what you expect from a relationship and what you expect from your partner – this is the only way you can avoid making the same mistakes again.
… to be afraid of being alone
Being alone after a breakup is excruciating. Dealing with this is arguably one of the most difficult challenges. Try to see the positive in this: you are independent, free, and no longer have to compromise.
… to think your ex owes you something
No matter how much you suffer or want to understand why your ex-boyfriend decided to break up, he owes you nothing. The sooner you discard this thought, the better you will feel.
… expect quick solutions
Getting happy again after a breakup is a long process. There is no magic formula or grandmother’s wisdom to make this time more bearable for you. Take the time and listen to yourself – the pain will eventually pass.