The research results of the past 50 years show that you should definitely heed these things
Relationships are never always equally good or bad. It’s always up and down. And every relationship goes through different phases in which the relationship between the partners changes and different things are important. But how do you manage to stay happy and above all together despite all these changes?
Brian Ogolsky is a professor at the University of Illinois, where he works in the field of human development and genealogy, and has looked at research over the past 50 years to find out which factors are important for a relationship to last for years.
Its results can be summarized in four points.
1. Be happy with what you have
You should never be satisfied with half measures in life. But striving for absolute perfection can also lead to disaster. If you are basically happy with your partner, you should be careful not to constantly weigh up whether another partner might be an even better match for you. It is a misconception that the grass on the other side of the fence is greener and that greater happiness awaits you there. See the good things in your partnership and be aware of them.
2. See yourself as a unit
In a relationship, both partners should always remain independent people, have their own groups of friends and fields of activity. Nevertheless, it is advisable not to constantly compare in a relationship who can do how much, earns or represents in society. See that the relationship as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts. You and your partner are a great team that would not exist without either.
3. Eliminate conflict
Hardly anything wears down a relationship as much as smoldering conflicts. Therefore, make sure that you always resolve issues as quickly as possible. Otherwise, the anger about it creates a permanently bad mood between you and your partner. Therefore, always address disputed issues immediately and make sure that you argue fairly, e.g. by B. never say these things .
4. Talk and laugh together
In addition to addressing annoyances, it is just as important to talk to each other in everyday life. Let your partner be a part of your life by telling them what is preoccupying, distressing or happy to you. Also, take every opportunity to laugh together. If you laugh together regularly, it is easier for you to recognize the positive aspects of a situation and to take it with humor, even in less good hours.