All these SMS, video and phone calls, count for me. That’s right, it’s just that they do not want to say anything if it’s a game for you.
You keep telling me how special, amazing and intelligent I am. I really want to believe it, but you still have to prove to me that I am.
You have not won my confidence yet and I’m not sure you will not be like all the other guys. I must be sure you are worth it.
I do not need you to be just a stop along the way, I do not need another little adventure. I’m ready to go all the way and I’m ready for you to be my final destination.
But I do not think I can support another fun game with my heart and my feelings. I do not think I will survive another disappointment. And I deserve someone who will cherish and love me. I deserve someone who will catch me.
So, please, stop making me fall in love. Stop promising me fairy tales and happy ends, stop me from thinking we have something, if we have nothing.
I am only a human being. I have hopes, dreams and feelings. Feelings that are not yours for you to play with.
I’ve been broken several times and I do not need you to let me down the same way and break what’s left of me. I need you to hold me tight, that you help me to pick up all these pieces.
You see, I went through a lot of things; I was bent in half to the breaking point, I was manipulated, deceived and intoxicated by people I thought were good.
I carry a heavy burden on my shoulders, broken dreams and hopes, broken bones and a bruised heart. And I realize it’s terrifying for you. So please, understand me when I tell you to leave, because I do not know how ready you are for all this.
I understand that sometimes, no matter how much we love someone, they can not love us the same way. Such a relationship is much more solitary than being alone.
Please do not be one more cup of loneliness in my life. I’d rather leave you now, before I fall completely crazy about you. Before I let myself be completely carried away. I would understand if you went away.
But you do not stop chasing me. You promise me years of love, just to leave the next week and come back in a month. You promise me all your support just to leave me out when I need you the most.
I can not do that anymore. So, please, stop looking for me unless you’re ready to catch me. I can not continue fighting for us when I feel like I’m the only one fighting.
I can not go around in circles all the damn walls you built in the hope that you’ll let me in.
At some point, you have to make a decision, because the walls do not prevent others from entering, but we lock ourselves in. I let you in, because I felt good. When will you do as much?