girlfriend-author Elena Dangel wants a tall man, preferably around 1.90 m. Is she getting in her own way?
Online dating has advantages and disadvantages, like everything else. Smart algorithms are now looking for the perfect partner or put together an exclusive offer. With the right conditions, great love should be found. I always give the apps only one important point: Please let the man be taller than 1.90. That’s important to me. But am I excluding my great love when it only measures 1.89?
Am I superficial
I can still get it like it was yesterday. A friend slapped her thighs with both hands and said angrily: “You are totally superficial.” At that time, the Alps passed the car window. We were on our way to a skiing holiday and had talked about dream men. I explained that shorter men (I’m 1.81 m myself) are not an option for me. I didn’t understand her anger. She is not 1.70 m tall. She has never seen standing in the back row like a lighthouse in group photos. Having broader shoulders through puberty than any boy in class. She has never been called an Amazon and she has certainly never got her head stuck on the door frame of the toilet in an Italian restaurant.
In the end, we humans always want to be part of it somehow. This also applies to the look of a romantic couple. Lay his head on the man’s shoulder. Lean against yourself. It carries your suitcase because it is so much stronger. It is shown to us in films, in advertising, in everyday life. I am not free from these influences. Nevertheless, a great partner exudes security for me. That’s where my problem starts. Because, as a tall woman, I also want to find a taller man, the choice shrinks to a shockingly small sum. If I subtract the number of men who prefer short women, things get really tight.
Size is just a preference too
How superficial can I allow myself to be? In dating apps, everything is decided in seconds, and according to very specific preferences. Some just like brunettes, some blond, others like a perfect body or a beautiful smile. But are we so much better in real life? In the apps, at least, at the top of the list is how tall I am, in everyday life these things tend to happen to me: I exchange glances with an attractive man in the subway for minutes. Shortly before my ward I get up and develop my height. The flirtation is over. A parameter came up for him that he doesn’t like. In the app, it is then like looking at the body size information. If I got one euro for every time a man saw me on my feet in a club or bar, I would be a rich woman. The reason:
But what if a man found it great to be with me and had no problem being smaller? Then I would be very impressed at first by his obvious self-confidence and the courage to contradict common resolutions, but I would not feel comfortable with it, because that does not correspond to my preferences.
Off to the north?
Another important point: I live in the south of Germany. The cliché is correct in my eyes: the tall people tend to be in the north. Believe me, my relatives are from Hamburg and I was on vacation in Denmark last year. My heart feels very warm when I think about how I was surrounded by tall men in the supermarket queue and how I felt so wonderfully small.
I’ve been thinking for a long time whether I can find a compromise? Now I have put my filters on men from 1.85 m. This gives me five centimeters more room for a future partner. I don’t think any of us can completely tear ourselves away from our preferences.
about the author
With her podcast “ChaosQueen” journalist Elena Dangel tries to declare war on her everyday chaos. Be it women’s issues such as hair removal or simple cleaning tips to spruce up your apartment. Always with a smile on her face and not afraid of failure, Elena throws herself into new adventures. In her podcast or her texts, she reports on her experiences so that no one makes the same misread as she does.