Casual relationship: the definition of a good time or a headache?
What is the definition of a casual relationship ?
Is this really the best way to have a romantic relationship that doesn’t bother you?
Like many terms used in the vocabulary of seduction and romantic relationships, casual dating comes to us from our American friends.
The definition of the casual relationship can be simplified as follows:
You date a person once or more for the sole purpose of having a good time or having intimate relations.
There is no expectation or commitment.
And both partners involved consider themselves single.
The term casual relationship (“casual encounter”) describes a non-binding form of relationship, which usually involves intercourse.
You meet, have a good time, and if things go well, end up in bed together (or some other place where you can have intimate relationships).
How often you meet the same person varies and is highly dependent on the type of person you are and how you interact with each other.
Before embarking on a casual relationship , you should ask yourself the following questions:
- What is the definition of casual relationship ?
- How do I feel about one night stands?
- Do I easily fall in love if I see someone more often?
- Am I having trouble adjusting to someone?
- Am I overwhelmed by having many contacts?
- Do I like meeting new people?
Definition of the casual relationship
It is important to emphasize that the definition of a casual relationship does not imply building a serious romantic relationship.
Indeed, the goal is not to meet your soul mate or to mend your broken heart.
It’s just about having fun.
This is the very meaning of the casual relationship.
According to the definition of the casual relationship, the people involved consider themselves single and do not want to change anything.
At least not with their casual date or their partner.
This form of dating is not about finding a partner and true love.
No, the casual relationship is a good time, interesting company and fun.
For many, casual dating is nothing but love!
If we respect the definition of the casual relationship , the following points apply to this kind of meeting:
- Definition of non-exclusivity: Participants can meet and have love with as many people as they want.
- Definition of superficiality: Dating partners exchange little or no personal information or feelings.
- Definition of entertainment: as soon as conflicts arise and the pleasure falls into the water, maintaining contact no longer makes sense.
What are the rules of the casual relationship ?
Even if the definition and meaning of the casual relationship implies that this kind of meeting is free, there are still rules to follow if you want to avoid complicating things.
It doesn’t matter if you meet your date online or at a bar, there are a few rules you should always follow so that no one gets hurt.
Of course, we don’t really want casual relationship rules, but it’s never possible without them when different people interact with each other…
1. The definition of the casual relationship clearly tells us that honesty is the best policy.
Honesty is one of the most important rules in casual dating.
If you’re not looking for a permanent relationship, just someone to have fun with, you should communicate early and honestly so the other person doesn’t have false hopes.
Likewise, don’t trick yourself or your date partner into wanting more from them than a casual encounter, or you might be disappointed.
2. Respect your boundaries and the definition of casual relationship no matter what.
If certain positions are out of the question for you, then make it clear to your partner.
Or, write her a message, preferably before your first date.
In the heat of the moment or drunk, boundaries can easily blur, so it’s best to mark them in advance so you don’t regret anything later.
Your casual date does not know you well enough and does not feel as responsible for you as, for example, a permanent partner or a friend and for this reason it is all the more important in this form of dating that you take care of yourself.
3. The very definition of a casual relationship involves love, so protect yourself!
Contraception is essential!
Even if you want to get pregnant and you don’t care who the father is: a pregnancy always involves three lives.
Besides, I strongly advise against getting pregnant on purpose from a man who didn’t ask for anything.
But that’s another discussion!
Also, to protect yourself from STDs, I strongly encourage the use of condoms, even if your partner provides you with health-related test results.
Remember, he doesn’t care about you, he just wants to have fun!
4. The first casual dating date should be in public.
At least for first dates, you should meet in cafes, bars, restaurants, clubs or other places where there are other people.
Especially if you met this person online.
It’s better to be a little too careful than too kind in the beginning.
Can the definition of a casual relationship become the definition of true love?
Of course, it can always happen that feelings suddenly develop and your stomach is in knots, even during casual encounters.
In this case, it is important that you tell the person concerned openly and honestly.
If your partner is still not interested in a serious relationship and only wants an informal meeting, contact should be broken off.
However, if your partner feels the same as you, maybe your story can really turn into a fairy tale.
But I would like to remind you of one thing!
Even if love at first sight and fairy tales can exist, you always have to look at the other side of the coin.
Indeed, the definition of the casual relationship can be understood differently.
Let’s take an example…
You met a married man and you both fell madly in love.
He cheated on his wife with you.
Then he finally left her.
You are in a relationship and happy…
Anyway, on the surface.
Why ? Because an unfaithful man always remains an unfaithful man.
If he cheated on his wife for you, what guarantee do you have that he won’t cheat on you with someone else?
This question obsesses you.
The same goes for the very definition of the casual relationship.
You and your partner may have romantic feelings for each other.
But your meeting started as a exchange, what guarantees that he will not want to return to his habits?
In my opinion, it is never good to go from a casual relationship to a serious relationship.
It’s all in the very meaning of the term!
How and why break up a casual relationship ?
Like I just said, it’s hard to trust someone when your relationship started through casual dating .
After all, your goal was only to have love. All of a sudden, feelings got mixed up in the affair.
But these feelings never last.
Indeed, just as you have been caught up in the excitement of this new relationship, you may lose all interest.
And the damage in this case can be significant.
The definition of the casual relationship clearly states that the partners do not want commitments or responsibilities.
And when the vagaries of life interfere, the relationship is no longer so funny and conflicts begin.
The other reason to end the casual relationship is if one of you has feelings for the other, but the feelings aren’t reciprocated.
Indeed, if one of the partners is in love while the other simply wants to have fun, it is guaranteed suffering.
Even if you think this person can put their feelings aside, as soon as he/she sees you with someone else, jealousy will take over.
In this case, it is better to stop everything, because it goes against the definition of a casual relationship.
End the casual relationship
Yes, even if you are not seriously together, if you want to end your relationship, you must make it clear.
Many people opt for radio silence or ghosting , as it goes a bit along with this kind of encounter.
And if the other is on the same wavelength as you, the message will be clear.
But if you think there are hidden feelings, you need to act.
Indeed, since you are not emotionally connected to this man, you can simply send him a message:
Thank you for these good times, but I think we have to stop there.
Well, that’s as simple as that !
Your casual dating partner will go through the five stages of grief (denial, guilt, anger, negotiation, and acceptance), but being honest is imperative.
Remember that ignoring someone is like saying your relationship never existed.
Even if the casual relationship is superficial, it’s still a relationship you’ve had in your life.
So, respect yourself and respect the other, just send him a message!
The definition of casual relationship does not imply rudeness or disrespect.
Opinion: casual dating , good or bad idea?
To help you know if the casual relationship is for you, here are two opinions on casual dating.
The opinion on the casual dating of Sarah, 31 years old:
After a painful breakup, I chose not to look for love anymore.
I only wanted outings and I wanted to have fun.
This is why I opted for the casual relationship, I liked its definition and its practice.
Besides, I had seven in twelve months.
After a year spent like this, I understood that it was no longer for me and that I was ready to commit myself again.
It was a great experience because I always respected the rules of the game.
The opinion on the casual dating of Alice, 34 years old
I don’t recommend the casual relationship at all.
I had a horrible experience.
The man I met online seemed awesome to me. We had a great date and we slept together.
The next day I texted her to say thank you and goodbye.
He didn’t let me go! For eight months, he followed me everywhere, he sent me dozens of messages a day and he showed up on my other trysts.
I told everything to the police, but nothing was done. One night he broke my bedroom window to get into my apartment.
Fortunately, I was not alone and called the police again.
The gendarmes arrested him and since then no news…
In fact, the definition of the casual relationship leaves little room for doubt. But when two people are not on the same wavelength, it can be catastrophic.