Because of this, some people will never find the love of their life
How do you know you’ve found the right ally? We all know that when you have butterflies in your stomach and are completely in love. But true love cannot be compared with it. So how can you be sure that a person is your partner for life? Can’t you commit to someone too early?
Many people ask themselves these questions, and most would like to have a list of signs to check off so that in the end they can be sure that they have reached the right partner. They finally want the answer because they want to know whether or not to keep looking. They don’t want to waste their time with someone who isn’t the one anyway. They don’t want to be afraid of missing out.
And this attitude has established itself in many areas of our life. We, humans, tend to be afraid that we will commit ourselves to something that is not right and that we might miss other things.
How do we know what’s in a few months or a few years? How do we know that we will still love this person as we do now? How can we say “yes” to a person under these circumstances? Couldn’t it be that our soul mate is still waiting for us somewhere in the world?
The problem is actually not the uncertainty, but the fear of the uncertainty. You’re doing yourself a disservice by driving yourself crazy with the thought that if you’re in a relationship, you might be missing out on the chance to be with the perfect partner. Because this attitude could destroy the current relationship, because it is perceived as a temporary solution, so to speak.
You don’t value your partner and you automatically strive less to grow in the relationship and reach its full potential. In this way, you cannot be fully present in the current relationship, because your thoughts are all the time looking for the right partner.
We live in a time when we want to protect ourselves. We don’t want to buy anything blindly without a return guarantee. We can’t get involved in anything if we can’t try it out beforehand. For example, we only buy things on the Internet that have already been rated by other customers and we prefer products that can be sent back if necessary.
Nothing works here without a return slip!
And in the partnership, it usually doesn’t look any different. If you approach a relationship with this thought, you shouldn’t be surprised that it will soon break up again. In this way, a separation is programmed in advance.
And if there are problems, then you want to replace it instead of repairing it. After all, we also live in a throwaway society. We take advantage of all the great opportunities out there and feel that our current partnership is rather a block on our feet. We are beginning to long for security and independence. And ultimately we leave our partner lying in the corner like an old toy.
It’s no longer interesting, so it needs a new stimulus. And so we live from relationship to relationship and never really feel connected to anyone because we overlook all the opportunities that a partnership offers us.
How can you change your mindset?
It is important that you first create awareness. If you feel the urge to look elsewhere, even though you are already in a partnership, it is usually because there are certain needs that are not met in the current partnership. So what needs are not met in the current relationship?
If you become aware of these needs yourself and consequently take them seriously, you can take the next step. You should talk to your partner about it. In this way, you automatically experience your relationship as enriching and you get a completely new picture.
Relationships are not about better or worse, but much more about the interaction between the partners. Many people feel trapped in relationships and long for freedom. But this thought doesn’t make sense because you can only be free if you don’t have to choose.
Relationships are not about getting something. it’s about giving. It’s not about another person who completes us! When we really give more to our partners, we get more love. It’s a simple equation. This is an important lesson to learn if you are to have a successful relationship.
And yes, it will happen that this relationship arouses negative emotions in you. It happens in relationships! If you didn’t feel negative emotions, you wouldn’t rise!
Does that mean you have to endure frustration, anger, and fear forever? No! You can go beyond these feelings. This is one of the biggest misconceptions about emotion. Your emotions indicate where you have room to grow. The sooner you accept this and face the discomfort in your relationship as a means of your own spiritual growth, the more relaxed you will be, and the less likely you will feel that you are missing out.