Are you in love or just feeling attached?
We all have moments where we jump from one relationship to the next and completely break free from love. So what is the difference between love and attachment? Let’s take a look.
We all know that a certain person jumps from relationship to relationship telling you “I’m in love” every time.
As someone who has spent a large part of their life single, I could never understand how someone could be “in love” with all the other people.
I assumed it couldn’t be love because it was the fear of being alone. I mean that’s right. Or?
Somehow. You can’t measure love with any real calculations. It’s something you just feel.
Are you in love or just tied?
But what if your feeling isn’t right? What if you’re so afraid of being alone or tired of not feeling a connection (no matter how brief) that anyone who gets close to you and makes you feel like your soulmate?
You know these relationships from the past; the ones you look back on and say, “I can’t believe I told them ‘I love you’.” How could you say those words to someone who isn’t your type and who you’ll never be seen with again want?
The answer is: That wasn’t love. That was bonding.
I’m not a love guru and I can’t tell you if what you’re feeling with your current partner is love or just loneliness hidden behind body spray. But I can give you a few basic pointers.
Love vs. Commitment: How Do You Know What You’re Feeling?
These are the tips you would give your girlfriend because, let’s be honest, you don’t want to go to a wedding where the bride can only say of her soon-to-be husband, “He’s always there.” And if you’re over If you’re unsure of your own relationship motives, take a look at the list below and see where you land in terms of love and commitment.
1. Love is passionate. Attachment is apathetic.
When you are in love, a fire burns within you. It can be an inferno of anger or an inflamed tenderness, but that fire is always there. Only when you can say that you really feel something can you call it love.
When you are only attached to another, you never experience anything that comes close to that fire. There are slight moments of irritation, anxiety and a host of other things, but nothing that resembles the fire of love.
Love = unselfishness. Attachment = egocentric.
Real love is about the other person. When you’re in love, you want to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own. Everything you do is for him or her and has a little part of you in it.
Bonding is all about you . You want someone to be there for you, to support you, or to benefit you in some way. You don’t care about her. You only care about yourself.
2. Love is freedom. Attachment is possession.
Being in love is great because you don’t need to be with your partner all the time to feel affection, understand what they’re feeling, or feel safe. You love him enough to trust the bond.
When you’re going through a bondage, you feel like you’re only thriving when you’re with him or her. You can’t stand being apart, and when you’re apart you’re always wondering what he or she is doing and with whom.
3. Love empowers the partner. Binding is not the same as binding.
Feeling true love gives you wings to soar to new heights. It gives you new energy and a feeling of freedom. You share your dreams with your partner and listen to their dreams with equal support .
When it comes to attachment, there’s only one issue with power. You call the shots and make sure you’re never left out. The only decision that matters is yours.
4. Love has no time limit. Binding is limited in time.
When you feel real love, that’s all there is. Time doesn’t matter. When you love someone, you will always love them, no matter how things end up going.
But bonding doesn’t work that way. Binding has a deadline – an expiry date. Bonding is not real. Because neither of you can grow in the bond, the beginning is already the end.
Being in a relationship is never 100% easy. Things that are important require effort. True love is a beautiful and remarkable thing. But just because you haven’t been able to free true love yet, doesn’t mean you won’t find it. Be patient and try to reevaluate yourself and your relationships. If you are in a bond, let it pass so you can both be open to the wonder of true love.
There will be times when you’ll wonder if you’re really in love with someone or are you attached to them. This can be a difficult feeling, so you should have a healthy conversation with your partner or someone you trust.