According to psychologists: 8 toxic phrases that permanently destroy relationships
While words may not cause physical harm, they can harm the mind and have long-lasting effects. In many cases, there is a cumulative effect, which can cause even more damage than physical pain.
In relationships, it is normal to have arguments and arguments every now and then. Sometimes in anger and frustration, you throw words at your head that you don’t really mean.
And although most people quickly forget and reconnect these things, the feelings of pain and betrayal caused by these toxic words linger for a long time. Sometimes these things can even rest within us for years.
Some sentences tend, like poison, to destroy the trust and affection that are at the heart of the relationship. Here are 8 toxic phrases that will destroy relationships in the long run:
1. “If that’s the case, maybe we should part better.”
Many couples use this phrase to threaten each other. What they did not understand is that these words could endanger the feeling of trust and security in the relationship. Words like these are often used in the heat of the moment, and the person saying this usually doesn’t want a separation at all. She’s probably just trying to express frustration in order to somehow resolve a particular conflict. The relationship consists of two people, each with their own set of values, ideas, and approaches. Many conflicts with these differences are never resolved. Usually, there is a lack of open communication between couples.
Try to understand where your spouse is from and why they feel this way instead of believing that these differences and the conflicts make you incompatible. You can try saying something like this, “I feel hurt, angry, or abandoned and have trouble being around you. I love you but I need some space I’ll let you know when I’m a little down. ”
2. “Don’t get on my nerves!”
Telling your partner to stop annoying is never a good move. If this sentence ever slips you should apologize directly for your behavior. Because it could lead to toxic silence on your partner’s side. If this phrase keeps slipping out of you because it has become a kind of habit, then just pray your partner to keep reminding you about it because it is not easy to change lifelong habits.
3. “This is complete nonsense.”
Of course, as a couple, you don’t always see things the same way. Sometimes you do something that seems irrational to the other but makes perfect sense to yourself. Or the partner does something that doesn’t make sense to themselves but makes perfect sense to the partner. This is because both partners bring different perspectives and values to the relationship. It always works better when we work to understand each other’s points of view rather than being quick to judge or become alienated.
4. “Only a man/woman can think that!”
Sometimes differences in the way we think create conflict, especially when it comes to the male and female stereotype. It’s easy to put all problems on this track and pretend you’re just different and can’t change the situation. But that could be a fatal mistake!
In many cases, for example, there is a problem that has been around for a long time but has never really been discussed, and which eventually boils over. Or one of the two has had a tough day that has nothing to do with the partner, but somehow you still take it out on him or the partner gets things wrong. Empathy enables us to recognize these emotional explosions and work as a team to solve the problem and rebuild more security.
5. “I don’t want to talk about this topic.”
Sometimes we need a break from an argument to shut down. But when we completely refuse to bring up an issue in our relationship, it causes a certain bitterness. Bad feelings and thoughts can boil around inside for a long time. The longer we silently continue these thoughts, the more they sink into our unconscious perception, which affects all of our future interactions.
A better way than simply saying that you don’t want to talk about it is to say that you are not ready to talk about it yet. Give yourself some time to cool down and think about it, then it will be much more relaxed to talk about later.
6. “I hate you.”
Often this sentence bursts out of people when they find themselves in a heated argument. This phrase can be very shocking to the partner. Because actually, one assumes that one loves and does not hate one another. Does that mean that your partner no longer loves you when they say something like this? Chances are, your partner is just plain angry and hurt. The good news is that these feelings are immediately replaced with relief and gratitude after your partner apologizes and made everything right. Think how it feels to hear this phrase from your partner. So it’s best to never use it unless you really mean it.
7. “You are just like your mother/father.”
This sentence is absolutely not fair and it just doesn’t help anyone, even if it were true on some points. Make yourself aware that it is not about being right, but rather about finding a solution. It is much better to address the real problem rather than using a vague hint or insult.
8. “Now loosen up!”
When the partner is upset, telling them to relax is less helpful. Because if he could, he would have already done it. Letting the partner know that you are being supported and trying to empathize with them is a much better way of getting the partner to relax.