When we were younger, we thought that relationships were full of these perfectly planned romantic escapades. We have completely forgotten that real-world relationships are not Katherine Heigl women’s movies and that Heath Ledger will never serenade us with “You’re Just Too Good To Be True.”
Relationships in the real world require a lot of patience and understanding, not a script full of quotable quotations that will make you complete a packet of handkerchiefs.
1. Good morning/night news is the best.
It can be basic and easy, but good morning/night news has been shown to lift someone’s mood. If you are in a relationship, you will suddenly realize that your day would not be complete without your partner’s romantic and elaborate, yet simple, yet sweet, good morning/night messages.
2. You must be able to miss each other.
Freiraum is not always so bad. If you spend most of your time together, it can be the cause of you two separate. It is also nice to give each other time to breathe because we also need time for ourselves. The distance will not only challenge you but also make you realize that it is not so bad to miss each other.
3. Compromises do not mean that you are weak. ”
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s the compromise that keeps us going. “You have to meet in the middle. It’s not about what you always want, or vice versa. You will learn how to understand and become more open to what each of you wants. It’s what you two want, and how you two get it.
4. You can not simply “fix” people and relationships.
You are in a relationship with him and accept him for what he is – for his dreams, his frustrations and his annoying behaviour. If you are in a relationship, you will learn that you can not always fix things and sometimes you have to leave them as they are. If you’re trying so hard to make your partner into the person that interests you, maybe he should not be the person you go out with.
5. Feeling good is not scary.
You’ll learn how to be more open with it because that’s what relationships are about. You can be yourself when you’re with him and he will not judge you for it. If you’re in shit, tell him. It’s not scary to feel well, it even assures him that you feel obligated to him in this way.
6. Misunderstandings are inevitable.
There is no perfect relationship. It’s nonsense that people strive for perfection. You will argue, argue and argue no matter what. It is not healthy if you do not argue, because arguments make you realize how much you want to improve your relationship. You can not always agree on everything. That is nonsense. Disputes are unhealthy only if they are already irrational and if they happen daily.
7. You should never expect and hope.
It’s not always about you. One has to be aware that disappointments are often caused by too high expectations. A relationship will show you how to become more realistic, more understanding and more patient.
Your relationship is not a movie. He is not Patrick Dempsey or Josh Duhamel. And you’re not just a girl standing in front of a boy, waiting for him to love you. Your relationship is real; there are no “cuts” and “acknowledgements”, you do not have “scripts”, and what you want to do does not take two hours – it takes as long as you want.
8. You should stop being paranoid and trust him.
Stop thinking, he does not hide anything from you. You have to start believing in him because he gets hurt when you think otherwise. Trust is the hardest thing you can give, earn and do when you’re in a relationship. But gradually you will learn how to exist. To trust someone is synonymous with love.
9. You will learn to show him how you feel.
It is easy to promise and tell him that you will always be there for him. If you are in a relationship, words will only remain words. It will be as you show it to him and make him feel loved.
It’s the way you hug after a long and busy day at work, it’s the way you kiss her on the forehead when you’re worried, it’s the way you sincerely talk about it laughing at the silly old joke, it’s the way you rub your back when it hurts so much.
It’s the little things that count. It does not matter how much you tell him how you love him. It’s about showing it; it’s about how you feel.
10. And finally, it’s about balance.
It can be hard to do all this and to recognize the perfect amount of love to give each other. People love things they can not define. It’s not like there’s a formula for a perfect relationship or specific ingredients for making a relationship work. It’s about balance.