In the first few weeks and months, it looks great in almost every relationship. But when the flight of hormones subsides and everyday life comes to an end, you quickly realize that being in love is not enough.
For men and women, it is now important to find a common ground. Relationship tips may not provide a blanket solution for all couples because your relationship is as unique as you and your partner. They can still help you to take the steps in the right direction.
Good tips help you to spot weaknesses and conflict potentials. They help to classify weaknesses and strengths of both. They support you when problems arise, and are a proven tool in the long run, so that problems occur less frequently.
Maybe you should say goodbye to the term ” problem in partnership ” and talk about challenges and opportunities.
With these nine relationship tips, your love stays alive:
1. Wish image and reality
You are freshly in love? Then the new man by your side will most likely feel like Mr. Right! For men, it also applies in this phase that the woman who took possession of her heart seems to be perfect.
But: We all know that the perfect partner does not exist.
Prince Charming and Dream Princess are dream images, templates in which you press your ideas. In itself, a wishful image is not bad. It shows you your longings and helps you to recognize your priorities.
Nevertheless, there is a great danger in the idea of the dream partner. You attribute qualities to him / her that he / she may not possess.
If you realize at the first infatuation stage that your image does not quite match reality , never fall into the trap:
” I’ll change it yet! I can handle this man (or woman)! “
Just as you want to be perceived as a separate person, so does the partner you share your life with – and vice versa.
It will probably never work if you want to change someone or their behavior. The pink glasses in the first few months of a partnership does not look right at some point. Now it is important to accept even the less great sides of the partner.
One of the best relationship tips is therefore: to remain authentic , not to bend, but not to change the other.
2. Equal values in love and in life
If equal or at least similar values apply in the partnership, this is almost a guarantee. Do not worry, you do not have to have the same ideas in all matters of life. But for the important points, a match is meaningful and good!
The best example: anyone who has the same values in terms of loyalty is on the safe side.
Call in an open conversation your wishes and expectations. How important is loyalty, where do mistrust and jealousy begin ? You can avoid many pitfalls if such questions are resolved from the start. It is not about the fear of being cheated, but about trust, security and reliability.
Equal values are also helpful in other areas of living together. Think in peace, what is important to you and at which points you can react completely relaxed . You can eliminate or minimize many conflicts if you can find common values with your partner.
The behavior in shopping and saving, in the diet or the more or less decent condition of an apartment can ignite violent disputes. Address such differences, discuss them and find a mode that both can handle well!
3. This creates trust: Communication is the basis
Cuddling is great, s*x is awesome, arguing must be, but talking is still one of the most important relationship tips! Proper communication promotes mutual understanding and trust. You better understand your partner’s behaviors, he understands your intentions and recognizes your desires.
No one can read thoughts, and subtle hints do not always work. Clear words are a better way when it comes to proven relationship tips. Stay objective and factual. Well-suited for a successful communication are the so-called first messages .
This is especially true if you want to address criticisms. Do not attack in the hard du-form, but say what bothers you, how you feel about it and what you want in the future.
The timing and framework conditions for clarifying discussions are also essential. Maybe not necessarily in the middle of the night or in the slightly intoxicated state, not when the time is generally short!
In a relaxed atmosphere, communication is much better. This relaxes you and your partner.
Speaking, moreover, is not all about basic questions. In general, regular open discussions are among the tried and tested relationship tips. Discuss your plans, tell important and minor things. Be honest with each other, but not tactless.
However, a behavior that is characterized by trust sometimes harbors a big disadvantage.
The danger of letting go is quite quick in a trusting atmosphere. That does not mean that you have to do without comfortable clothing at home. Just do not forget yourself and be good to yourself, pay attention to your looks, it benefits every partnership!
4. Free space and proximity
In the state of highest infatuation you probably like to do everything together. For a good partnership it is equally important to find the right balance between closeness and distance . Everyone is allowed to keep their own circle of friends and occasionally do things on their own.
Common hobbies and interests promote cohesion. Nevertheless, the entire leisure time does not have to be spent together.
Continue to meet with your buddies and friends, and also allow your partner to connect with friends. So that no dramas arise out of it, talk to each other.
Secrets are usually not good for any relationship, except bagatelles or planned surprises . If you pay attention to the balance of space and proximity , careful planning should not be neglected. When appointments collide, it is not far to the next conflict.
Use a shared calendar and talk about your activities. This is especially important in a partnership when children are present or other commitments are on the program. A completely equitable distribution is not always possible, but whoever is in conversation can change the course if necessary.
5. Arguing, not fighting!
Different views are completely normal. It only becomes critical when hardened fronts collide. Address conflicts and disagreements in a timely manner, do not sweep anything under the carpet. If you are critical, stick to it and do not attack for no reason or frustration.
Constructive quarreling can promote a happy relationship !
For this it is important that the subject of the dispute takes center stage. It’s about the conflict or disagreement and not about your partner’s specific traits that you can not change.
Men and women can change their behavior only on their own initiative. Under duress and pressure that does not work.
Another essential factor for a good culture of debate: Choose the right time and leave the topic of the dispute in your own four walls. Of course, you can discuss specific topics with your best friend or best friend, only if you are looking for good relationship tips, then be sure to protect your partner’s privacy.
Relatives and acquaintances are most likely not interested in intimate details and eternal issues. Besides, a quarrel is not about winning at any cost.
You have much more success if you are looking for a common solution . Not a lazy compromise, but a result that brings you as a couple in the long term!
6. Everything is better with humor
You have the same sense of humor and can laugh about the same jokes? Congratulations, that is an excellent basis for a happy partnership! Humor helps to avoid small cliffs. And that’s why it’s one of our n 9 proven relationship tips.
However, sometimes it does not work right away, usually couples have to get to know each other well. Sometimes you also need diplomatic skills and tact in humor. Find out where the pain threshold is.
Humor should not slip into cynical or sarcastic, if the other does not understand that. Cheap jokes at the expense of the partner, possibly even below the belt, are absolutely taboo. Not only when you have spectators in an argument, but also as a couple. Mutual respect should come first in your relationship.
7. Be resentful? Better not!
After a dispute or a fight you must not forget to forgive each other.
Discuss the controversy afterwards. There is no point in following up after a while and warming up old conflicts again and again. With a vindictive behavior, you can permanently poison the atmosphere in your relationship .
Sometimes conflicts can not be solved because you have different views and no common ground. Then it is better if you accept the facts. That’s OK. You are two people, each with their own history and experience.
Be aware that certain events shape a person – you can not shape him / her according to your will.
You can still succeed in understanding the other one. Just as counterproductive is a constant mistrust.
No matter what the cause of the dispute was, after the last debate and reconciliation, the issue should finally be off the table. If it’s not already, take the time to reflect and talk again to find a truly lasting solution for you to be happy.
8. Organize everyday life and distribute tasks fairly
Many disruptive factors arise in everyday life together. The first months in the first shared apartment are usually exciting and exciting. However, when certain behaviors creep in that are annoying and time consuming for the other, love suffers .
By contrast, it helps if you discuss in good time how living together works best.
Are there certain areas in the home that everyone can use for themselves?
Who is responsible for which tasks?
The classic role behavior has usually served its purpose. You are probably both working and only have a limited amount of free time. So the household and everything that goes with it has to be fairly distributed. This leaves more time for two, and the typical issues can be debunked in advance.
That does not mean that you should create a typical cleaning plan like your first WG. A rough list of common tasks can still be a good tool with the help of the right communication.
Agree on what is good for you both.
One of the proven relationship tips is: What about finances? Discuss who pays what.
For example, three accounts can be useful. Everyone has their own account, which they can freely use. In addition, there is a joint account, which both proportionally fill according to their income and which is used for housing, household, purchases and holidays.
9. Rituals that keep your love fresh!
The proven relationship tips include rituals that promote cohesion. There is a huge range, from adorable little things and attentions to special days that you duly celebrate.
The day of getting to know each other, the first kiss and the first night together – these are occasions for celebrating as well as moving into the shared apartment. The mix of romantic mood and memories ensures that you rediscover or revitalize similarities.
Good are also breaks from everyday life.
Depending on the financial possibilities, there are many alternatives: A weekend with a hike or bike ride, an undisturbed evening for two or a short trip. For more ideas, check out our list of 47 extraordinary couples activities.
In the normal relationship everyday solid rituals also have their place. Whether breakfast in bed, a text message or a phone call in between, or little notes on the whiteboard, all these things show how important you are to each other.
Who behaves attentively and attentively, lays the foundation for a good and happy partnership! Then stormy times and crises can not hurt the relationship .
On the contrary: If you master difficult phases together with your life partner, this strengthens the cohesion enormously.
All these proven relationship tips can invigorate and strengthen your partnership. Especially if you take both of them to heart.