No, you are not crazy.
Living with insecure men is not only hard work, but it can also have destructive effects on your wellbeing and emotional health, as well as on your marriage.
There are few things that are emotionally devastating than knowing that you are a faithful, loyal, caring, and motivated wife, and yet you have a partner who is always suspicious, unfamiliar with you, and hardly ever stops, your behaviour and yours To question motives.
Many women just put more work into it and pull out a leg to make their husband happy. At some point, however, the task becomes too frustrating, exhausting, and overwhelming, and the anger and bitterness have grown too great to keep it under lock and key.
When a woman has had enough and has finally reached the end of her flagpole, she sometimes announces that it is enough now.
She feels that the requirements are too high. It doesn’t matter how hard she tries – he will always find a new area in which she does not meet his expectations.
Some of the signs of an insecure man can be:
1. He constantly questions your motives.
You know that you work hard to take care of your family and your husband. You know that you rarely have time to take care of yourself or do something you would like to do.
No matter how hard you work, he still finds ways to question your motives and doubts that it really means something to you, as you claim.
2. He notes the “score”.
He never forgets how you once could go out with your friends or drive past your mother to visit them. He has counted countless times how many times you have had the opportunity to go out or be on the road compared to him.
If he gets away more often, there’s always a reason why most of his endeavours don’t count, but yours always count.
3. He believes that you always have hidden ulterior motives.
No matter what your reason for your behaviour and your words, he always reads between the lines. He reads something in your facial expression or in your tone or your choice of words.
He quickly ascribes negative intentions to you and assumes things you would never say, do or think. It happens so often that sometimes you think, “I might as well do it because he’s always reporting it to me anyway.”
4. Disputes almost always become a matter of defence rather than problem-solving.
Sometimes you try to defend yourself when the accusations come. Sometimes you just try to get it over with.
When you defend yourself, it only degenerates into a swamp of accusations and blame. He is quick to find the weak points in your explanation of what you really meant and continues to blame you. He often portrays you as a liar when you know you’re telling the truth.
There is almost never a way to solve the problem and get it over with. In the end, you feel guilty and unloved no matter what you do.
5. You often get into trouble for not complimenting or thanking him.
You two may be preparing to attend a special event. He comes into the room and compliments you on your appearance – and before you even have the chance to return it, you get annoyed that you didn’t. If you don’t immediately thank someone for what he did, you will be held up forever.
He lets you know that you have had numerous opportunities to compliment him or say thank you – but as you recall the situation, you never had a chance to do so before he started the attack.
6. He wants to know about all conversations and texts that you have and receive.
Before you say half a sentence when answering a call, it asks to know who you are talking to. He can’t stand it when you get a text and answer it when he doesn’t know who it is and what it’s about.
It can then sulk because someone else is getting your attention, or ascribe malicious intent to your text or call. He may assume that you complain to him about others or even have an affair.
7. There are many assumptions on his site that you should “just know”.
He often gets angry because you haven’t noticed how he felt or what he needed. You may say that you cannot read minds, but he does not want to hear that.
He replies that you two have been together for so long and it has happened so often that “you should know”.
8. He is very jealous of the time you spend talking or meeting with your close friends.
You know that he and your relationship have priority for you. Because he is so insecure, you are sensitive to his concerns about the time you spend with your close friends or family.
You’ve already limited your time with them and the conversations and text conversations, but he’s still complaining and won’t leave you alone until you end up with no friends to talk to.
If you are in this situation and you can no longer stand it, it is up to you to initiate a change.
If you decide to draw a line and request certain actions or changes from him, you must be prepared to accept the consequences that you will tell him if he does not meet your requirements.
This is a good time to ask a wise, trusted friend for help in determining your next steps and implementing them. It’s also a good time to work with a professional counsellor or therapist.
Changes are possible, but this type of change takes time and outside help. It can be a big win for both of you.